Victoria Moss Frying it on
Not so long ago, on an afternoon prowl with my small child, I found myself in an apparel store for the… younger woman. I picked out a pretty ditsy printed skirt and a floaty pair of trousers. We took them to the tiny, boxlike changing room. I had to shunt in the Bugaboo and contort myself in the minuscule space left between my daughter’s bored face and the frighteningly close mirror.
The modest midi skirt turned out to have a giant slit up the side. I tried the trousers. Same story, giant slits up both legs. I don’t think the hems had come undone, it was, I assume, an intentional design… quirk? Odd. We left, bruised but empty-handed.
I thought of this incident while researching fashion’s current skirt offerings, which are confounded with ties, and splits, wraps and ruffles. Now, if you’re keen to frame your knicker-line with diagonal frills, then I’m happy for you. But it’s not for me. Trying to navigate wrap-styles on a blustery day is not something I have the patience for. While dresses have evolved into something for the every occasion – practical lengths and sweet patterns, the odd casual pussy-bow tossed around the neck – skirts have become victims of some funky ideas. What
I’ve been hankering after throughout our long hot, summer (is it over yet? We’ve nothing left to give on beach wear) is a bias-cut (so crucial), maxilength silky skirt. It’s the sort of thing you probably had in the Nineties, which I’m totally fine with. If you blinker your vision to the Helmut Langinfluenced offerings from that decade, you can do no wrong. But where, in a sea of unfortunate flounced-edging, would one find such minimal mastery? We really are back in the Nineties – Ghost. Of course! Look at it! An image of slightlyankle-grazing perfection.
It’s made from a weighty satin viscose (doesn’t crease when scrunched) that is good because it means you can shove it in the machine (and looks and feels like silk), and it has an elasticated waist.
Since Beyoncé announced her affection for her post-partum
FUPA (that’s fat upper pubic area or, as I know it, “the pouch”), all bets are off. It’s FUPA- friendly fashion from here on in. An elasticated high waist is ideal, happily skirting over any pouch-y ness. Then you can play around with top proportions: a widecut, square-shaped one would look as good as something longer and more fitted. The brilliance of this skirt is that you can slosh around in it now with an espadrille or plimsoll, then later with boots, and a T-shirt or sweatshirt. Simply swap for a posh top, fancy-flat or mid-ish heel (I worry about a maxi skirt and spindly heels, it feels offkilter) and you’re going to dinner. Without a ruffle or inconvenient slit in sight.
A Nineties style maxi skirt will solve a lot of problems
While dresses have evolved into something for every occasion, skirts have become victims of some funky ideas