What the photogenic family can teach us about how to holiday
They’ve had the picture perfect summer – so what can Victoria, David and their brood teach us all? Eleanor Steafel writes
For most parents, this week signified the start of the home straight. A month ago, you had such good intentions: it was to be a perfect summer of old-fashioned family fun, where your children would play sweetly in the sunshine, learn new skills and devour all the lovely books you spent a fortune on. You had an idyllic week away booked, and visions of a spat-free holiday where your offspring would suddenly become adventurous eaters and not just moan and demand chips and pizza.
Now, with 10 days to go until the end of the summer, there is a chance tensions may have begun to fray. You have run out of activities to occupy them, and have by this stage threatened to divorce your husband and abandon your children so many times that the words have lost all meaning. They don’t even look up from their ipads when you shout – while standing and pointing at the piles on the stairs which they all walk past and ignore – that you’re going on strike. The end of the school holidays can’t come soon enough.
Of course, it could have all been so different if you had, put simply, been more Beckham. This is a family who knows how to holiday – granted, the couple are collectively worth a rumoured £700 million, so this summer’s luxury trips to Montenegro, Los Angeles and Bali might be somewhat more attainable.
But still, there must be elements of their approach to holidaying which we mere mortals can emulate. And ever so kindly, they appear to be terribly keen for us all to have the chance to draw on them for inspiration, so have generously provided sneak peeks of their holidays throughout the past few weeks on Instagram. So thoughtful of Victoria to recognise how much mums love flicking through pictures of other families cuddling each other angelically in an infinity pool while they separate their own warring brood for the 12th time that day.
Here’s how to have the perfect summer, à la the Beckham brood.
Pick a niche destination
The Cornish coast, the south of France, even a Greek island – all would be considered by Team Beckham to be far too bland. Rather than Turkey or Croatia (everyone is doing Croatia this year, didn’t you know?), the Beckhams kicked off their summer in Montenegro, staying in a five-star resort on a small island, spending their days swimming, leaping off boats and paddleboarding. They then moved onto their “second home”, LA, where they hung out with their pals the Ramsays, before making a brief return to the UK (ideally, when holidaying like a Beckham, one shouldn’t come back to Blighty for more than three days at a time), and then jetting off again to Bali.
Find your light
Golden hour, sunrise, under the dappled shade of a fig tree – whatever light your family looks best in, find it and then make them pose in it incessantly (after all, if you didn’t take a picture and post it on Instagram, did it really happen?). The Beckhams are particularly keen on a sunset snap. But then, it helps when your private villa has a westerly terrace overlooking the ocean. Always consider what backdrop your holiday pictures will have when booking accommodation.
Update your inflatables
This year the rule seems to be the bigger the better. Rock up to the hotel pool with a lilo and you’ll look a fool. No one is going to play with your kids unless you bring a large inflatable peacock to the table, or failing that a swan, or if truly desperate a unicorn. I’m here to tell you, though, unicorns are technically terribly 2017, so you’ll never up your followers with that level of pool toy game.
Every family member must be on social media
Yes, yes, holidays should really be technology-free. But how are you meant to get your freebies if you can’t offer adequate social media coverage? Make like Victoria and David: get all the kids on Instagram now, and spend the coming months building your family brand. By next summer you’ll be fielding offers for holidays left right and centre. One of you can pose in the infinity pool, while another photographs the chef grilling the wagyu beef, and someone else films endless clips of themselves diving off the back of the yacht.
Get the kids learning a new skill
Something useful (and highly Instagrammable), like how to make their own esoteric foodstuffs. This summer, the Beckham children have learnt a whole range of handy new skills, like how to make stir-fried ice cream (not quite as counter-intuitive as it sounds – this is the latest foodie craze to come out of Thailand, which involves pouring melted ice cream onto an iced grill and rolling it into a scroll), been horse riding, and even tried chocolate tempering. If it looks good in a 60-second social media clip, it’s worth forking out for.
Include a healthy dose of reality
Brooklyn, 19, Romeo, 15, Cruz, 13, and Harper, seven, may have had a summer holiday most children can only dream of, but their parents are making sure they keep their kids “grounded” by taking them to spend the day at a foundation that alleviates poverty by providing education and clean water to those in need. Cruz helped the children with their reading, while Harper taught the girls clapping games and Brooklyn (who is said to have recently given up his place at New York University in favour of an internship with a photographer) gave the kids a go with his camera. “Cracking parenting”, cried their fans on social media.
You see, it’s important to provide children with an understanding of the wider world.
Life isn’t all one long float on an inflatable swan, even if you’re a Beckham child.
‘If it looks good in a 60-second social media clip, it’s worth forking out for’