Anyone at home?

SIR – Tony Hallam (Letters, August 24) recalls receiving letters for his church beginning “Dear St Michael”.

I was once the ineffective Vicar of Lanteglos-by-fowey where, annually, I used to receive a letter from officials in London reminding me that there were two listed monuments in the churchyard, and obliging me to inform the Department: 1) Who was the Owner; 2) Who were the Occupiers.

My reply each year followed the same course: 1) The Owner: God;

2) The Occupiers: the Dead. Francis Otto

Penzance, Cornwall

SIR – My late father was a veterinary surgeon who established a successful practice in Buckinghamshire. To celebrate their Scottishness, he and my mother named their house, which included his surgery, The Carse, after the Carse of Gowrie in Perthshire.

As many clients had never heard of a Carse before, letters were often addressed to “The Calf ”, as they assumed they had misheard. Luckily, none made a worse mistake. Andrew HN Gray

Edinburgh

SIR – We live in a house named Doornkop after the Battle of Doornkop fought during the Boer War, in which my wife’s great-uncle served with the Gordon Highlanders. He later died at Loos.

We always look forward to receiving the post in order to see the latest misspelling. Among the most common are Doomkop, Doorknob, and Dummkopf. David Ellis

Ellon, Aberdeenshire