Hypergamy

Midlife guide to…

So… are you seeing anyone at the moment?

No, but hold on, look over there – that guy by the bar. Phwoar! Check out the wallet on him.

Not my type, I’m afraid. I’m not into gammon faces and chinos.

What’s appearance got to do with it? He’s wearing a Patek Philippe watch and just ordered a jeroboam of Krug.

What was it Kanye West said about gold diggers again?

No, you misunderstand. I’m no gold digger. I practise hypergamy.

Is that even legal?

Of course! It’s the term social scientists use for “marrying up” – the entirely legitimate prioritising by women of wealth or social status when choosing a partner. Entirely different from gold digging, we can agree.

Odd, because that’s exactly what it sounds like…

Well frankly, I find that offensive. Gold digging is when you get together with someone just to extract money from them. I would never do anything so base – I’m following in the footsteps of women from Ancient Greece, Imperial China, the Ottoman Empire, India… all of which boast proud and noble traditions of hypergamy, thank you very much.

Still, it’s not always easy to tell how rich or socially elevated someone is before you start dating them, is it?

Funny you should say that actually, because a paper published only last week in the journal Personality and

Individual Differences found that women can gauge a man’s income remarkably accurately just by glancing at his face for a few seconds.

That’s pretty impressive. So, how much does the bloke at that table over there earn?

Not nearly enough. I’m hypergamous and proud.