‘When someone called me an alcoholic, I was outraged’ Bryony Gordon

One of the questions I am most often asked in my new life as a sober person is “how did you know you had a problem?” I didn’t, I just felt, perhaps, possibly, maybe, I had one. But I mostly chose to ignore it, and surround myself with other people who felt, perhaps, possibly, maybe, they had a bit of a problem. It’s all about context, you see.

About 10 years ago, a colleague suggested to me that, perhaps, possibly, maybe, I was an alcoholic. I was outraged. What was wrong with drinking your monthly alcohol allowance in a week (or a couple of days)?

I never drank in the day. I didn’t drink every day. I didn’t touch spirits. I never sat by myself on a park bench with a miniature. But I felt dreadful all the time, and alcohol dominated my thoughts even when I wasn’t drinking it. One of the first things I learnt in rehab was that it doesn’t matter how much you drink – it’s how you drink it. But an easier way to work out if you have a problem is this. Do you feel like you have a problem?

Then you probably do.

Try not drinking for 90 days. Booze will still be there at the end. And if you can’t do that, then you should, perhaps, possibly, definitely, seek professional help.