WALDEN’S WORLD
The funniest wedding I’ve been to all year
Oh, the joy of picking out an outfit for a gay London showbiz wedding. The options were endless: I could wear cream, marshmallow, champagne, eggshell or a thousand other variations on the forbidden white.
With no possible chance of upstaging the bride, I could also wear mesh, cutaway or a diamanté bikini. And, actually, Claridge’s ballroom did look like the set of Strictly
Come Dancing on Saturday night, as the world of TV turned up to celebrate the nuptials of Syco boss Nigel Hall. Cheryl somehow managed to pull off a particularly risky triad of mesh, sequins and artfully placed feathers, while Amanda Holden decided to go with baby pink satin and sequins – “although until an hour before I left the house I was fully intending to come in a wedding dress and veil”, the Britain’s Got
Talent judge explained before dragging me out on to the dance floor.
And, boy, was it a mistake to let that woman lead: you can’t dip someone a foot and a half taller than you without inflicting serious spinal injury. And on more than one occasion I was forced to move Ms Holden’s hands back five inches north – to my waist.