Where do we stand on…

putting the heating on

In Britain, there are few things we enjoy more than getting very heated about a simple yes or no issue – especially if the issue in question is about heating.

So, with the leaves beginning to turn and Tomasz Schafernaker uttering the words “cold snap” for the first time in months, let’s ask it… On or off? Crawl to the thermostat, or dust off a cardigan?

One Twitter user this week put it out to his followers, and, while the attached referendum was dramatically close, ultimately the people spoke with one shaky, shivering voice: can we have it on, please?

The matter is complex, and generally driven as much by one’s principles as it is by the outside temperature, the health of your household finances or your ability to bleed a radiator.

Middle-aged men (isn’t it always them?) tend to know their policy best. The stereotypical put-upon dad tries to hold out for as long as possible, bellowing at anybody who goes within a metre of the thermostat until at least Bonfire Night. “Put on a jumper,” they will say at least once a week, even to the cat. “We aren’t made of money.” And, in a world where ipads can control the temperature of a room, these arbiters of the central heating have more power than ever.

Fortunately, the temperatures aren’t quite at Beast from the East level yet, and for any “on” voters denied their wish to be warm, try this: google “heatwave tips to keep you cool”, choose any of the several thousand articles written this summer with that headline, and do precisely the opposite of whatever they suggest. Sorted.