Life as a middle-aged intern in a millennial workplace
At 52, Chip Conley sold his business and joined the modern workplace, as a mentor and an intern
When it comes to power in the workplace, 30 is the new 50. With the rise of billionaire founders like thirtysomething Mark Zuckerberg, many people in their 40s and 50s have been left wondering if they are past their sell-by dates.
I know I felt that way before my 50th birthday, when I sold my baby, Joie de Vivre Hospitality, a San-francisco-based boutique hotel chain that I’d built up over 20 years.
Five years ago, when Brian Chesky, the young CEO of Airbnb, heard I was a hotel innovator who’d overseen the creation and management of more than 50 properties, he made me an offer: to help him transform his small but fast-growing home-sharing start-up into an international hospitality giant.
Initially, I was excited at the prospect of joining the company as head of global hospitality and strategy, and in-house mentor and adviser to him and his millennial co-founders. But I was also more than a little intimidated.
In 2013, I’d never even heard the term “sharing economy”, and, at 52, I’d never worked in a tech company. I didn’t have the Uber app. I was nearly twice the age of the average employee and, after two dozen years running my own company, I’d be reporting to a smart guy 21 years my junior. What would it feel like getting reviews from a boss young enough to be my son – who was also my mentee?
Brian asked me to be his mentor, but I felt like an intern. Could I be both? What would it mean to be a “mentern”?
At Airbnb, I was surrounded by digitally savvy folks who perhaps hadn’t realised that the “emo savvy” – that emotional intelligence one acquires over time – could be just the thing to help them each grow into great leaders. Could I trade some of my EQ for their DQ (digital intelligence)?
This implicit trade agreement created two-way benefits: I learnt how to become more fluent in tech, and the younger employees learnt how to be more fluent in human interaction. I learnt about Snapchat and Wechat; they learnt how to look up from their phones and do old-school chit chat. I also learnt that “menternships” offer those of us in the second half of our lives an opportunity to keep learning. Here, then, are four ways to be a midlife mentern.
Cultivate a beginner’s mind
In my early days at Airbnb, I was able to stoke a fire in the company by being catalytically curious. I didn’t know any better. My beginner’s attitude helped us to see a few of our blind spots a little better, as my mind was free of the habits of being the expert. I could channel my “little kid energy”, asking a lot of “Why” and “What if ” questions, when most senior leaders are stuck in the “What” and “How” of business.
Intern publicly, mentor privately
‘I learnt Snapchat and Wechat, while they learnt to do old‑school chit chat’
Twenty years ago, I hired Jack Kenny, who had been president of Hotel Group of America and was 15 years my senior, to be my chief operating officer and president of Joie de Vivre. I learned a bushelful from Jack, but perhaps most significant for my future at Airbnb was the fact he did his best to intern publicly and mentor privately.
Instead of counselling me in a meeting in front of everyone, he would pull me aside after and ask: “May I share an observation about how you could have been even more effective in that meeting?” He would also often ask me: “What are you pretending not to know?” when he knew I needed to make a difficult decision. A lesser person might have tried to solve the problem for me, but Jack was masterful at guiding his young CEO to the wise answer without letting his own ego get in the way.
Be a librarian
My network – of people and knowledge – unwittingly turned me into the company librarian at Airbnb; my value was in sharing my know-how and “know-who” widely. When our recruiting team were looking for certain kinds of customer service execs, I could call on the relationships I’d built as a resource. I could help the policy team when it came to building bridges with regulators and within the travel industry, and the research team by drawing on connections I’d made through books and articles I’d written.
Realise that you are a part of the workplace revolution …
… rather than an interloper. In this age of digital industries, older people have a new and exciting role to play. And as my friend Ken Dychtwald, an expert on the longevity revolution, said to me: “If you can cause maturity to become aspirational again, you’ve changed the world.”
Chip Conley is author of Wisdom at Work: The Making of a Modern Elder (Penguin, £14.99). To order for £12.99 plus P&P, call 0844 871 1514 or visit books. telegraph.co.uk