What to watch
The Apprentice BBC ONE, 9.00PM
“I’m like a cash machine, if you push the right buttons I can give you money.” “I’m the Beyoncé of business.” “My goal is worldwide domination.” This sort of statement can only mean one thing – The Apprentice is back, and no, the arrival of Brexit Britain hasn’t made the candidates more self-aware. Brexit, however, is very much on Lord Sugar’s mind. “Might as well enjoy it while we’re still welcome,” he mutters grumpily as he sends this year’s group of hapless contestants on their very first European jolly. They’re off to Malta, told to collect nine local items at the best possible price.
Quality controller Rick Monk immediately makes an early bid in the villain stakes by declaring that “the girls will be too busy with make-up and hair” to win. Annoyingly for fans of schadenfreude, while Rick is wrong about the reasons he’s right about his opponents: everything that can possibly go wrong does, and the women swiftly descend into back-stabbing, crude manipulation and furious fights. Can they pull it together to win? That would be telling but, despite a stale format, The Apprentice remains oddly compelling. Watching these people make idiotic decisions, it seems, is one thing that will never get old. Sarah Hughes