WHY I DESERVE MY ‘WIFE BONUS’

There are some days I’m so tired, I struggle to get out of bed. Mornings when I feel as though I’ve done a full day’s work before the clock strikes eight. Yet in the eyes of the economy I don’t have a job at all. Because I don’t earn a salary as a stay-at-home mum.

The number of jobs on my daily to-do list is exhaustive – cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, tidying – and it doesn’t begin to factor in the hours spent with a child, reading and listening as we try to support and supplement the skills they may later learn in school. Without a stayat-home spouse, someone else would have to be paid to perform them.

That’s why I don’t feel guilty about getting a “wife bonus”. What that means is that every year my husband’s company does well and he receives a bonus, which he shares equally with me.

The amount itself is insignificant. What matters is that it shows he understands that without having someone to stay home and take care of all the childcare and housework, his job wouldn’t be possible. The name may sound demeaning but the concept itself is empowering – because it’s an acceptance and endorsement of all the work that goes into being a stay-at-home spouse.

When I first talked about this publicly, I was criticised for wanting to monetise something that should come naturally. I appreciate how lucky I am to enjoy these formative years with my daughter Lalage, now five, in a way many other mothers may want to but can’t. But no matter how naturally motherhood comes or how much we enjoy it, it is still work.

It’s unlikely I’ll see a time when mothers are paid for their work in the home. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to put a value on their contribution. It should just be much higher.