The six friends every woman needs
The type of friends every woman needs in her life
Some things we have learnt in the last few days about the Duchess of Sussex: that she is having a baby. That she bought a Cartier Tank watch to one day pass on to her daughter (yet had it engraved with “MM to MM”… curious); that her mother is taking baby care lessons because Meghan doesn’t fancy employing a nanny (poor Doria). And then, there’s the real jaw-dropper: Jessica Mulroney, Meghan’s best friend, is accompanying her and Prince Harry on the Sussexes’ first official tour of Australia. Raised eyebrows all round or what? It’s not like we’re talking about a holiday that might, on reflection, be more of a laugh if you took a couple of mates along. Whatever next?
Then again, it makes perfect sense. What are ladies in waiting, if not connected friends who tag along to provide support, and a hair grip or a Kleenex in a crisis? Mulroney was the Duchess’s unofficial maid of honour, and has been her occasional stylist right from the get-go (the white engagement trench coat was one of hers).
What she is, on closer examination, is a Fixer: one of the six friends every woman needs to keep her head above water. Meghan’s Fixer is naturally more fixtastic than the average: she’ll have everything from brow groomers to baby shower caterers on speed dial. When Meghan has to decide between the peach sleeveless dress and the blue with the pelmet, the Malibu beach property or the Cotswolds barn conversion, Mulroney is there to take the strain.
In Normals’ world, your Fixer is the one you text to ask “Where do I get a decent bra?”; the one whose house looks like the house you want to live in (and actually tells you where to get the lamps, as opposed to doing that faux distracted thing women do when they really don’t want to tell you). The others in the ideal set of six are:
The Friend Mum
Anything you would have checked with your actual mother, up to the age of 25, your Friend Mum now deals with. She is the one happy to work out what train connection you should get, who is actually to blame in the argument you had with your sister, and why you can’t fit the blade on the mixer.
The Roadie
This one is basically Chrissie Hynde, or whichever reprobate you most aspired to be. The Roadie is still strictly bikinis, martinis, real fires, red meat, massive loans, midweek parties, taking home strangers and a lot of things that make you feel 20 years younger every time you meet (even if the Roadie does not look it).
The Over-estimater
Astonishing. They’ve made a huge mistake in believing you’re so much better than you actually are, but they’re determined to stick with it, and it makes you feel the opposite of boring and past it. Lovely.
The Lifer
Sometimes this one will bawl across the room “No you did not. He chucked you” or “You were never in a band” or “Stop banging on, you’re boring your friends”, but after decades of friendship, that is part of the deal. They know you like the Friend Mum, only they don’t go in for the cosy indulgence. Which serves a purpose.
The Wise One
You should really pay them a retainer because they have saved you a fortune in therapy bills and solicitors (Do not send that email. On no account tell him/buy it/ answer the phone/go off the deep end.) Sometimes your Fixer doubles up as your Wise Friend and this might be the case with Mulroney. However, we’re fairly confident she’s got her hands full with all that fixing. More or less certain.