This week proves that Metoo is far from over
A friend revealed that a man stuck his hand up her skirt at a funeral
Anyone remember #Himtoo? Thought not. It burned brightly for a few hours earlier this month, after a woman in the US tweeted a picture of her son, claiming that he would no longer “go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists with an axe to grind”.
Here we go again, I thought. But – a miracle! – instead of a great swelling of the Twitter mob against the Metoo movement, which has apparently made men terrified of even making eye-contact with a woman, social media responded by roundly taking the mick. Her son even chipped in to deny he felt that way (presumably terrified that no woman would ever agree to go out with him again).
It gave me hope that the Metoo naysayers, who have spent the past year shouting that it has “gone too far”, might be starting to wake up.
A few more might have had their eyes opened this week, with the story of the British billionaire who has been using NDAS to silence allegations of harassment against him. On Thursday, he was named in Parliament as Sir Philip Green.
Then, in Google news, it was revealed that male executives at the multibillion-dollar tech company had been shielded – and, in some cases, even rewarded – after sexual harassment cases were filed against them, including the inventor of the Android smartphone software Andy Rubin (he has strongly denied all allegations against him). On Thursday, CEO Sundar Pichai revealed that, over the past two years, 48 employees in all had been fired for sexual misconduct.
If we needed proof that Metoo is far from over, surely this week has provided it in spades.
Of course, it is easy to sneer at a hashtag, especially one that began in Hollywood. But this is about so much more than A-listers wearing black dresses on the red carpet. Metoo has had real world consequences in our workplaces, schools and homes. It has galvanised women. Unions have been formed; HR departments tackled. Helplines have experienced unprecedented demand – Rape Crisis saw a 30 per cent spike in the aftermath of the allegations against Harvey Weinstein. The Time’s Up project has raised more than £15million to help ordinary women pay legal fees.
What a great start. But a start is all it is. Because, almost exactly 12 months after the Weinstein scandal, a powerful man is still trying to shut down accusations against him and potential victims are still being prevented from speaking out.
Only last month, a study by the Young Women’s Trust found that one in three women still feels unable to report sexual harassment in the workplace.
Gone too far? What’s gone too far is the culture of impunity that has allowed powerful men to take advantage of their positions and cover up their actions. Besides, can you really “go too far” in helping women feel safe enough to do their jobs without worrying about harassment or assault?
To some, reading this week’s news, it will seem as if Metoo has failed; that nothing has changed. Yet, the opposite is true. Without it, studies would likely not even be commissioned; helplines wouldn’t be creaking with demand; we wouldn’t still be talking about it.
Metoo has given women (and men) shorthand for what has happened to them; it has helped them tell a story, without actually having to tell it. It has become a common language for experiences often too awful to spell out. It has helped millions feel less alone.
But we have done the awareness-raising bit. Now we need tangible outcomes, decisive action and persistence.
We must start by ensuring that NDAS can no longer be used to cover up improper behaviour; as long as they exist, there will be those who take advantage of them.
We must also acknowledge the many insidious behaviours that reek of power and control and are all too prevalent in workplaces across Britain; the brushing-up against you in corridors, the personal remarks, the explicit emails, the boss who puts his hand up your skirt at the office party.
The latter is what a socialite claimed, in this newspaper, that a man she presumed to be the thenunnamed tycoon had done to her, recalling: “The businessman, now chatting to my boyfriend, drops his hand to my thigh and slides it up beneath my dress to cup my rear.”
That claim was shocking only in that it wasn’t really shocking at all. It has happened to me more than once – the first time at the local pub, when I was 17 (and, yes, using a fake ID).
A friend recently revealed that she had experienced the same thing at a funeral, of all places, in plain sight of an entire room of mourners.
There is something about the studied casualness of these acts that can be just as damaging as any serious sexual assault, especially if they are carried out repeatedly and remorselessly. Even worse is when others collude with them – brushing them off with “Oh, he doesn’t mean anything by it” or “Don’t cause a fuss”.
We must continue to cause a fuss. Metoo has let the genie out of the bottle and exposed the unequal power dynamic between some men and some women – and the abuse of that power.
I can’t think of a more powerful conversation starter – but it is not the solution. Bet it’s a hashtag you won’t forget in a hurry, though.