Forget Brussels… MPS want to know about the world’s oldest bell-ringer
Sometimes – no, let’s be honest, pretty much all the time – PMQS feels utterly unreal. You’ll have a day like yesterday, when the nation stands teetering on the brink of meltdown, and a single burning issue towers above all others – and yet half the MPS called to ask a question carry on as if it’s business as usual, and talk about something else.
I wonder whether those in Brussels tune in. It must fascinate them.
“So, Jean-claude, I hear you watched the Prime Minister’s Questions today. The first since we reached the historic agreement on the Brexit. An occasion most momentous. What did the Conservative Members of the Parliament have to say?”
“Well, Michel, one of them asked Madame May whether she would wish a happy 100th birthday to the world’s oldest bell-ringer.”
I’m not making that up. The MP was Kwasi Kwarteng (Con, Spelthorne), who in 2016 campaigned for Leave. Several other Tory Brexiteers decided to hold back, too. Alec Shelbrooke (Elmet & Rothwell) asked about overcrowded trains. Mike Wood (Dudley South) asked about business rates. Even Iain Duncan Smith – who the night before had reacted furiously to news of the Withdrawal Agreement – on this occasion restrained himself, and asked about gambling machines.
Even so, it wasn’t hard to judge the Brexiteer mood. Most Tories were a picture of dejection. The usually impish Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) sat scowling, chin propped on fist. Andrew Bridgen (NW Leics) had his hand over his eyes.
Only one Brexiteer was able to put his anger into words. Peter Bone (Con, Wellingborough) spoke slowly, darkly, grimly, each word falling with a heavy thud. “Is the Prime Minister aware,” he glowered, “that if the media reports about the EU agreement are in any way accurate, you are not delivering the Brexit that people voted for? And that today you will lose the support of many Conservative MPS – and millions of voters?”
Mrs May seemed unperturbed. “Can I say to my honourable friend,” she replied, with a gentle smile, “that what we have been negotiating is a deal that does deliver on the vote of the British people.” Her manner was soft, as if she were leading a patient back to bed after finding him staggering about a hospital’s corridors at 2am.
“What we’re doing,” she went on pleasantly, “is a deal that protects jobs, protects the integrity of our United Kingdom, and protects the security of people in this country.”
Mr Bone simply glared.
After PMQS Mrs May held what felt like an endless meeting with her Cabinet. Finally, at 7.20pm, she emerged on to Downing Street to deliver a brief, and stiffly smiling, statement.
The deal, she said, was “the best that could be negotiated” (talk about a ringing endorsement). The alternatives were “no deal” (a warning to Labour MPS) or “no Brexit” (a warning to her own MPS).
“WILL YOU RESIGN?” bellowed reporters. Mrs May ignored them.
Today she’ll make a statement in the Commons. This time, surely, her MPS will have a little more to say.
‘Is the Prime Minister aware [she] will lose the support of many Conservative MPS – and millions of voters?’