Midlife guide to...

kidult games

What are those pesky millennials up to now, then? Still living at home and ordering takeaways with abandon?

No, they’re far too busy not passing go, as it turns out…

Explain please.

Their infantilised existence has been immortalised for all the family in a new, updated version of Monopoly – a twist on the original classic.

Isn’t that the board game for powerhungry wannabe property moguls, rather than poor generation rent?

That’s the one! Classic boardgames are making a comeback and this is the latest to jump on the bandwagon. Apparently, youngsters are flocking to cafés to play them, from Snakes and Ladders to Ludo.

I can’t imagine right-on Generation Snowflake being too happy with being the traditional Monopoly iron or top hat – can you?

Actually, the game’s creators, Hasbro, have replaced the usual counters, so instead, new players can move around the board as a crying emoji, camera or hashtag. And the motto – “Forget real estate. You can’t afford it anyway” – just provides them with some much needed tough love.

So they don’t actually buy any property then?

Of course not! Art imitating life and all that. Instead of purchasing Park Lane, they can fill their vegan leather boots with “experiences” like staying in a parents’ basement, on a friend’s couch, taking a trip to the yoga studio or even visiting a week-long meditation retreat.

All sounds pretty offensive really.

Well, I never said it was a safe space.