Women should put their own ring on it – trust me
Acolleague of mine once confided that when he proposed to his girlfriend, he led her into a room filled with candles. He got down on one knee. Perfect.
“Job done,” he said. “I never have to do another romantic thing in my life.”
Many years and two children later, he’s still milking that anecdote. As indeed is his wife.
I thought of his grand gesture when I heard it rumoured that Sheridan Smith may have stumped up for her own lavish £10,000 engagement ring, while Paris Hilton’s from her ex-fiancé, actor Chris Zylka, was allegedly a £2 million gift from her jeweller.
If true, this might strike some people as being really quite sad. In my experience, it’s sadly quite real.
I bought my own wedding band – in a rush, the day before we flew to the Caribbean to get married – because my husbandto-be hadn’t got around to it.
I had given him my late father’s gold ring. I ended up with a sterling silver (ish) band from a Vietnamese jewellers in east London.
Nor am I alone in having to
prioritise practicality over hearts and flowers. I know several women who have bought rings from their joint account and one who booked the whole wedding – church, venue, food, band, the lot – without conferring.
Her new spouse was delighted. That’s because in this day and age we know – should know – that marriage is more than a Hallmark moment.
Yes, we’d all have liked the candlelight and I won’t pretend I wasn’t mildly outraged that my husband didn’t get down on one knee; his daughters still reproach him for it.
But this is the 21st century, life is complicated and, arguably, a man in love is even less able to multitask than one who isn’t.
I have the greatest respect for any woman who buys her own ring, circumventing the need to nag and chivvy her lazy, broke and/or reluctant other half into doing it.
Money worries invariably undermine happiness. So if you’re about to make an honest woman of your partner and are cavilling at the cost of a princess-cut diamond, my advice is to head for Ikea and stock up on tea lights instead.