Emoji rob us of the richness of language

Little yellow thumbs-up if you think we need more emoji in our lives. Me neither. A new deluge of images is about to flood our smartphones, and it’s all a bit depressing to be honest.

I know that campaigners are delighted to see wheelchair users, guide dogs and interracial couples represented. I agree that’s a good thing. But, in general, I worry that the human dimension of our hyperconnectivity is being eroded.

Simplistic symbols are increasingly replacing the richness of language. Every complex emotion has been reduced to sad-faced ciphers or heart-eyed cartoon cats, tongues lolling suggestively.

The subtext is clear; yes, your friends want to know how you feel, but not in any detail. No real insight or depth, just a quick overview will do. Ha ha, scroll on.

If technology is the bellwether of society, what does it say about us that we apparently need a derisive pinching-fingers emoji to convey that a man’s tackle is more of a tickle?

Funny? Looks a lot like puerile misandry to me. Kids, if you want to insult someone, at least be creative about it (go google Shakespeare).

What next on anti-social media? A sniggering choice between big melons and small ones? Hairless classical statuary or overgrown bushes?

I’m not a complete fuddy-duddy. I can appreciate a judiciously deployed emoji – the face with rolling eyes is my absolute favourite, and I have a soft spot for the Munchian scream. Even the poo has its place.

Kids love emoji, which is fair enough. They are, after all, the 21st-century equivalent of exclamation marks !!!! But adults must beware of veering into cringeworthy, David Brentzaniness. Use them at your peril! For you will be judged.

Harshly.