I’m all for pupils going on strike – if they know why
‘Darling, would you like to borrow a hi-viz now that you’re joining the gilets jaunes in Parliament Square?” I call up the stairs, rather pleased at my witty wordplay. “There’s one in the car because it’s a legal obligation if you drive to the Dordogne, although obviously we can’t risk that any more, in case a slow puncture gets us embroiled in acts of civil disobedience…”
The response from my 16-year-old is swift, unequivocal and, I think, slightly unnecessary. “What are you talking about? Why would I want to look like a middle-aged Frenchman? Committing social suicide won’t save the planet,” she says witheringly.
A load of Year 12s bunking off sixth form in identical Nike trackie bottoms and North Face puffer jackets is unlikely to halt climate change either, but I don’t say this because I admire today’s day of mass action. Thousands of British schoolchildren across the UK have signed up to walk out of lessons for three hours in the hope of raising awareness about the state of the planet.
The event is taking place under the Youthstrike4climate banner and, although I dislike the lazy use of a numeral, which lends the whole thing a Phones4u vibe, I’ve kept shtum.
Organisers and participants believe it will be the first time schoolchildren in the UK have protested for action on combating climate change, and I’m all for it – providing these pint-size protesters know what, exactly, they are shouting about.
All week, my mum-chums have been reporting back with a distinctly mixed picture. The adult consensus in my circle seems to be, yes, let them leave their classrooms and take back control – but only if they can explain why.
One friend’s 14-year-old son had no idea. She sighed and suggested he come back once he’d googled it. He couldn’t be bothered, so he’ll definitely be agitating al desko.
Another boy (sorry, but I fear it’s A Thing) suggested that not going to school was all about saving a day’s heating and lighting – adding helpfully that he could conserve energy further by lying on the sofa eating crisps and watching Netflix.
A friend with a football-mad 13-yearold son was slightly exasperated he didn’t know anything about the strike, and that her 17-year-old daughter was too anxious about her A-levels to even think about sea levels. “She’ll end up with three fabulous As under 30ft of flood water,” her mother crisply observed.
At this point, I should interject that my own glittering activist career includes demonstrating against Ronald Reagan (yup, it really was that long ago, kids) when he was due to visit Berlin in 1987, where I was living on my university year abroad. I joined the Lefties on the streets and even though my grasp of geopolitics was a bit hazy, I got fired on by water cannon and bagged myself an earnest German boyfriend, so I call that a win for democracy.
I also like to think I freed Nelson Mandela. Not just by dancing along to the song, but by marching and boycotting Dole pineapple chunks because they hailed from South Africa.
So is it any wonder I was quite pleased that my daughter was up for her very own “long march through the institutions”? But first, I had to ascertain that she was genuinely “woke” politically, and not just using greenhouse gas emissions as an excuse to lie in, the demo kick-off time being at the teenage-friendly hour of 11am.
And so I casually inquired if my “She Guevara” knew what she was demonstrating about. I was met with silence, and I have to say my Citizen Smith heart sank. But it turns out she was merely drawing breath and marshalling her thoughts before she gave it to me with both barrels. And it hurt more than a water cannon right up the Kurfürstendamm.
“Oh. My. God. That is so patronising!” she yelled. “Your generation have messed” – OK, she used a more Anglo-saxon verb but you get the gist – “up the planet. You’ve destroyed rainforests, trashed the atmosphere, bleached the Great Barrier Reef and melted the ice caps.
“Biodiversity is in freefall! More than a third of all species are in danger of disappearing! By 2048, the oceans will be empty of everything except plastic. We’re facing the sixth mass extinction of life – not because of volcanic activity or meteorites but because of Human. Beings. Like. You.”
There was more. A lot more. The precious resources immorally frittered on large-scale animal agriculture, the rampant burning of fossil fuels, rising temperatures, cataclysmic weather systems… It was enough to put anyone off their Brexit. Even Theresa May. Especially when my daughter accused me of killing my own, as yet unborn grandchildren because how could she possibly bring babies into the postapocalyptic world people like me have created?
Blimey, she’s got a point. Hand over that form for me to sign (all kids have to submit a letter to the school giving them parental permission to walk out). It’s not exactly Paris 1968, but Britain didn’t just impose the gift of admin to all her colonies, she kept quite a lot for herself. So the letter has been signed.
Whether our planet’s fate is sealed is another matter. I hope that the young people of Britain who raise their voices to those who represent us will be heard and, more crucially, that their call for action will be heeded.
My generation has a moral responsibility to right the wrongs perpetrated on our behalf. Ignorance is no defence in law. Nor in the pursuit of natural justice.
My generation has a responsibility to right the wrongs made on our behalf