Five hideous Oscar acceptance speeches
Tom Hanks
(Philadelphia, 1993)
After accidentally outing his old drama teacher, Rawley Farnsworth (news to everyone in Farnsworth’s redneck hometown), Hanks proceeded to hold forth about the ravages of Aids with a speech that would make even the most liberal-minded feel a bit queasy. He declared that “the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels”, before talking of: “A healing embrace [that] cools their fevers, that clears their skin, and allows their eyes to see the simple, self-evident, common sense truth that is made manifest by the benevolent creator of us all.”
Gwyneth Paltrow
(Shakespeare in Love, 1999)
So a bit of gush is expected, but Paltrow took it to a whole new level. After saying she didn’t feel deserving to be in Meryl Streep’s presence, she thanked Harvey Weinstein and Miramax for their undying support. Then she went on to mention her mother (“who I love more than anything”), her brother (“the dearest person in the world”), and Mary Wigmore (“my earthly guardian angel”). Then there was Grandpa. “I want you to know that you have created a beautiful family who loves you and loves each other more than anything.” Sentimental and smug. That’s quite a feat.
James Cameron
(Titanic, 1998) Fake humility is common at the Oscars, hubris rather less so. Cameron thus decided to redress the balance when he won for the deep-sea boreathon. It started quite well, with the director thanking all the right people (including the guy who rigged up the diving camera system), but ruined it all by a slightly overzealous pay-off in which he declared himself as the king of the world.
Shirley Maclaine
(Terms of Endearment, 1984)
Things started badly for Maclaine when she indulged in some baffling psychobabble. “I think that we all manifest what we want and what we need. I don’t think there’s any difference really between what you feel you have to do in your heart and success. They’re inseparable.” After some guff about her co-stars, she started to compare film-making to pottery, before a hideously selfcongratulatory flourish. “Films and life are like clay waiting for us to mould it. And when you trust your own insides, and that becomes achievement, it’s a kind of a principle that seems to me is at work with everyone. God bless that principle. God bless that potential that we all have for making anything possible if we think we deserve it. I deserve this. Thank you.”
George Clooney
(Syriana, 2006) Defiantly refusing to believe that Hollywood stars lived in a bubble, Clooney talked about the brave pioneering spirit of his industry. “We’re the ones who talked about Aids when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn’t really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects, we are the ones – this Academy, this group of people gave Hattie Mcdaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theatres.” Commendable in spirit, but also blithely ignoring a community where gay film stars stay closeted and only 12 black actors (at that point) had won Oscars in its 80-year history.