Midlife guide to ....

snorecore

What’s that you’re listening to? It sounds epically dull.

Oh, for goodness sake, I’d literally just gone to sleep…

I’m not surprised. That voice would knock anyone out cold. It’s like an anaesthetist’s dream.

That’s precisely the point. I use these podcasts to nod off now. They’re calling it “snorecore”.

The poor presenter. I wonder if he realises how soporific his voice is? It’s like listening to my Uncle Gerard’s monologues about bleeding the radiators.

Yes, but unlike your Uncle Gerard, this guy is deliberately boring.

No one is deliberately boring. Except perhaps Matt Baker off The One Show.

And also the monotonous presenters of the “slow lit” that had just lulled me into the blissedout sleep of the bored.

So it’s like a bedtime story so crushingly dull, your body basically shuts down?

I prefer to see it as an audio experience that lulls me gently toward slumber. It can be a story, but it can also be a boring roundtable discussion – like the ones they have late-night on Radio 4.

Why can’t people just go to sleep in the old-fashioned way any more? Since when did we need a podcast for the most natural of human functions? Next, there’ll be podcasts to help us breathe.

Well, funny you should say that...

I mean, why can’t you nod off aided only by exhaustion?

I’m too stressed, too anxious and too overwhelmed by the number of zeitgeisty podcasts I still haven’t listened to. A stiff drink will surely get you over the line.