THE DAUGHTER’S VIEW, BY RUBY LYONS

There I was, in the car with my Dad on the way to start my first semester at university, when I get a message from two friends commenting on a photo my Mum had just posted on Facebook. “Awww, look at that photo of you! That’s so funny.” They added a couple of crying-with-laughter emojis.

My initial reaction was “Oh no, what has she done now?” We had been over this countless times; no photos were to be shared of me unless she had MY specific consent. I found the photo, coupled with an unnecessarily long and wet caption about waving me goodbye to start university. I felt angry. How did she think this was in any way acceptable? I immediately got on the phone and demanded she delete it. I explained to my Mum, yet again, that I don’t want my private stuff to be shared with people I haven’t even met before.

The way I see it, my friends and I share photos in a completely different way to how she might. We care more about how we look because we believe that every image we post helps people form opinions about us. It is what we have been taught. Contrastingly, my Mum shares photos because she feels the need to keep her friends updated on light-hearted content, which includes what my sister and I are getting up to. She doesn’t take it seriously enough.

My friends and I will share posts that relate to our own independence, proof in a way that we are branching away from our families. So if Mum posts a “cute” pic of me looking like a wet thing who is still under her control, that destroys the carefully controlled image I have created for myself on social media.

She can post what she likes about her life to her friends, but she can’t post about me unless she has my consent. Surely that’s not too hard to understand?