Even ugly statues become part of the scenery

Pret a Manger is finally opening a branch in Brussels central station, improving the dire food options available to hurrying travellers.

But Pret’s arrival has been greeted with dismay in some quarters because it plans to remove Sam the “zebra”, the hideous plastic statue of a horse dressed in a zebra-striped suit that currently greets Eurostar arrivals.

I’ve long hated the ugly thing but my view is apparently not shared by others who are pleading with Pret to keep him in place.

Meanwhile, the city recently discovered that Brussels’ “mannekin pis”, a famous baroque bronze of a boy peeing, has been pissing fresh drinking water down the drain for 400 years. Officials proudly announced they have now turned his endless stream into a closed circuit, saving up to 2,500 litres a day. Proof, in both cases, that familiarity breeds loyalty to even the ugliest monuments.

Technology is making it easier than ever for governments to enforce laws. This sounds like a good thing, but it’s only an unalloyed advantage if you believe that laws are always right. If, rather, you think that laws are part of the organic process of trial and error through which human societies evolve, then a bit of slippage on laws that police mundane, everyday behaviour might be a perfectly good thing.

I’m thinking of speeding. Endangered species: Brussels commuters want ‘Sam the Zebra’ to stay in place

The EU has just decided to force all cars built after 2022 to include alerts and automatic slowdown devices for when drivers break speed limits. Clearly having learned nothing from France’s yellow-vest protests, which began when angry provincial commuters started vandalising speed cameras, the EU is determined to press ahead with raising drivers’ blood pressures across the Continent.

The proliferation of average speed checks in the UK is already bad enough, exacerbated by the seemingly endless relay of roadworks and “improvements”. Slowing down for a camera is one thing, but being meticulously policed with total accuracy for an hour’s steady driving? It has a unique way of aggravating the soul.

Just imagine how much more annoying it will be when the policeman is effectively inside your car, beeping at you, easing you down just as the road clears ahead. Slow drivers and car haters will no doubt love this policy, but it’s just another victory for creeping uniformity, control and pedantry.

Still, a yellow-vest protest seems a bit messy and violent. Can we try something more British, like dimming our full beam headlights a bit less promptly when turning corners?