WHAT WE WISH THEY WOULD POST (BUT THEY ALMOST CERTAINLY NEVER WILL)
Conversations with friends
Their famous friends, that is. And when we say conversations, we mean pictures of them getting drunk on tequila with the Clooneys, or goofing about with the Beckhams, or doing absolutely anything at all with Idris Elba. We might have come for the important announcements and key issues, but we’ll stay for the celeb-gazing.
The real post-birth picture
We don’t mean the equivalent of Kate on the steps of the Lindo Wing, hours post-partum but immaculately blow-dried and beautiful. When Baby Sussex arrives later this month, we want to see that very first picture of Meghan, fresh from the labour ward, hair dishevelled and face un-made-up but full of relief and exhaustion. This would help other new mothers avoid feeling they have to “do a Kate” and present themselves looking like they’re attending a garden party, when their body has just been the site of the most painful event known to woman.
Skin-to-skin
We’re also in the market for a bit of skin-to-skin action from Harry. You know, when the new dad removes the T-shirt he’s been wearing since the labour started three days earlier and places his new baby upon his bare chest. A picture of that would go down very well indeed, thank you: inspiring for new fathers everywhere – and guaranteed to flood the rest of us with oceans of oxytocin. Given how hard Harry’s been working on perfecting his yoga poses, it’d frankly be a waste not to.
Loads of hashtags
We want the full works: a picture of the Sussexes crashing on the sofa on a Friday night with a Deliveroo (no edamame bean and raw veg salad please, we want to see a veritable beige buffet). And we want it accompanied by all the hashtags: #Friday #chilling #takeaway #marriage #Whatwouldkate And wills say?
Mess
Inside their house, that is. Clothes on the floor because they were too tired to put them in the wardrobe; miscellaneous baby toys tripped over during a night-time loo visit; empty cereal bowls that haven’t quite made it to the dishwasher; maybe a discarded, centuries-old tiara – we leave it to their discretion. A domestic scene resembling our own (tiara aside…) would make us feel better, that’s all. And isn’t that the point of the royals?