The invitation from the Sussexes I couldn’t refuse
y daughter has just completed a school M project on the Victorians, her face agog at the idea of a time when children were caned in class for getting an answer wrong or put in the finger stocks for fidgeting. “In Victorian times,” my six-year-old explains to me, “children were only allowed to be seen BUT NOT HEARD!” She shouts this bit, just to make her point clear.
We may not have canes or finger stocks any more but the Victorian attitude towards children pervades. To wit: the news that children aged five to seven have 45 minutes less break time per week than children in 1995, with those aged 11 to 16 having a whopping 65 minutes less. Our kids are being locked away in classrooms, emotionally caned so that schools are able to present to Ofsted a glittering set of exam results. And at what cost, exactly, both mentally and physically?
In 2019, we also still seem to confuse listening to young people with indulging them, as if allowing them to healthily express an emotion might lead to a lifetime of misery, a never-ending torrent of feelings that will leave them incapable of doing anything other than emote. You only have to look at the ludicrous attitude towards the so-called “snowflake” generation to see that.
Snowflakes are criticised for expressing feelings that the rest of us were forced to suppress, often at great cost to our personal health (yes, yes, being beaten black and blue may not have done you any harm, but remember that you are not necessarily indicative of everyone else). I don’t believe that there are more people with mental illnesses nowadays – just that there are more people going to their doctors to report them. The mental health epidemic we hear so much about has always been there, and everyone suffering with it has in the past simply been too terrified to talk about it.
So I am completely and utterly over the moon about the launch of Shout, a 24/7 text service for people in mental health crisis, manned by volunteers who have been trained online under the supervision of qualified clinicians.
Shout has been launched this week thanks to the money raised by Heads Together, the charity set up by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry three years ago to encourage people to talk about the stuff in their heads.
This is a major moment for mental health provision in this country, and one that people have been working hard on behind the scenes for some time now.
At the end of last year, I was lucky enough to be invited to an event thrown to thank all the volunteers who had completed training so that they would be able to man the text line once it went live. I hosted a panel featuring four of them, which was also attended by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, who put in a surprise visit to thank everyone for their hard work, and let them know that what they were doing was amazing. The Duke and Duchess throw glitter and glamour over everything they attend, of course, but they were at pains to point out that the real stars of the show that day were the hundreds of people in the audience who had taken their time to volunteer for the service.
In a nutshell, Shout will provide support to people via text – and the text element is the crucial bit to it. While the helpline is open to people of all ages, it is hoped that this form of communication will especially appeal to the young, who may find it daunting to pick up a phone and call someone.
Text also makes it possible for people to seek help at any time, anywhere – on the bus, at school, at home, where you don’t have to worry about being
The app is a much-needed bridge for young people in crisis
overheard. Shout is, in many ways, the perfect solution to the problem that mental ill health presents. All mental illness thrives by isolating the sufferer, making them feel too stigmatised and ashamed to speak out about problems that can only be solved by giving voice to them. The anonymity of Shout provides a much-needed bridge for people in crisis.
It also provides the rest of us with a moment to pause and realise how vital it is to really hear young people, and not dismiss what they are trying to tell us as immature and childish. Speaking to the Shout volunteers, many of them parents themselves, it was fascinating to hear how the training had drastically improved their relationships with their children, giving them the tools to deal with surly silent teenagers and tantrumming toddlers. Through learning proper listening skills, these volunteers had opened up new avenues of communication, and their families were all much happier for it.
I am going to start the training soon, having realised in recent years that one of the best ways to help your own mental health is to spend time listening to others. At the event last year, Prince Harry spoke of wanting to fill an entire “Wembley Stadium” with volunteers, and it struck me that this was what our country needed more of: more situations where we are encouraged to listen to each other, rather than shutting each other down as if life was nothing more than a Twitter thread. When we listen, we learn. And whatever our age, we all benefit from being seen heard. For more information on Shout, and to volunteer, see giveusashout.org