Lord who loves to shock is royal gay pioneer
First member of the Royal family married to someone of the same sex admits his relatives ‘don’t talk about it’
AS THE first member of the Royal family to marry someone of the same sex, it is perhaps fortunate that Lord Ivar Mountbatten likes to shock.
The 56-year-old third cousin of the Queen is preparing to celebrate his first wedding anniversary with James Coyle, who works as a cabin crew member for an airline.
But he has admitted he has no idea how his decision to separate from his wife and become the first member of the extended Royal family to come out as gay was received in royal circles.
“They don’t really talk about it,” he told Tatler magazine. “I mean, the royals, they don’t communicate very well.”
At home, though, the younger son of the 3rd Marquess of Milford Haven is enjoying a new lease of life, with his three daughters and ex-wife having entirely accepted his decision.
“I think they like having another man in the house,” he revealed. “Better than a stepmother who could have turned out to be a stepmonster.”
Lord Ivar’s life has turned on its head since he wed Penny Thompson 25 years ago in a ceremony at the family’s ancestral home in Essex, attended by Princess Margaret and Prince Edward.
The marriage had run its course by 2011, with Lord Ivar later revealing that he had struggled with his sexuality throughout their relationship.
Three years later, he met Glasgowborn Mr Coyle, 57, in Verbier, the Swiss alpine resort. They immediately hit it off, and within three weeks, he was being introduced to the family. The couple wed last September at Bridwell, the family’s 140-acre country estate in Uffculme, Devon. The best man was none other than Penny.
Lord Ivar’s daughters – Ella, 23, Alix, 21, and Louise, 17 – have welcomed Mr Coyle into the family and have often flown abroad with him when he has a spare ticket on a long-haul flight.
Lord Ivar’s mother, Janet, 81, is said to insist you should “try everything once”, while his aunt, Nadejda Mountbatten, 2nd Marchioness of Milford Haven, was a lesbian.
Lord Ivar is the great-nephew of Earl Mountbatten of Burma, who was murdered by the IRA, and the great-greatgreat grandson of Queen Victoria. His father, David Mountbatten, was a first cousin to the Duke of Edinburgh. His lineage does not prevent his mischievous desire to shock, borne out in his decision to take part in the next series of reality TV show The Island with Bear Grylls, in which participants are marooned on a Pacific island for 35 days and left to find their own food, shelter and water. “I suppose I do quite like to shock,” he said. “Why not?”
He wants to prove that it is possible to be a middle-aged gay aristocrat and not conform to type. “A lot of people in my generation are worried about coming out because we perceive gay men to be camp stereotypes,” he added.
See the full feature in the October issue of Tatler, available on digital download and news-stands on Thursday.
‘A lot of people in my generation are worried about coming out because we perceive gay men to be camp stereotypes’