On and on they droned on the perils of verbosity

October 31, 2019 will stand as a momentous day in the history of this country. Generations of schoolchildren will study it. October 31, they will learn, was a day that marked the end of an era, and our first tentative steps, as a nation, into a brave but uncertain future.

The day, in short, that John Bercow stood down as Speaker.

Of course after the public mourning, the tribute programmes and the mountains of wilting bouquets have been cleared from Parliament Square, some poor soul will be asked to succeed him. The challenge will be daunting.

His successor will, metaphorically at least, have big shoes to fill. But at a hustings yesterday, no fewer than nine candidates stepped forward.

From the Conservatives came Dame Eleanor Laing, Sir Henry Bellingham, Sir Edward Leigh and Shailesh Vara. From Labour came Sir Lindsay Hoyle, Dame Rosie Winterton, Harriet Harman, Chris Bryant and Meg Hillier. Each took turns to make statements, answer questions, and issue pledges.

Naturally, everyone pledged to be spotlessly unbiased, and to wipe from their memory whatever opinions they hold on Brexit. Mr Bryant, in addition, pledged to clamp down on clapping in the chamber. Sir Lindsay pledged to clamp down not only on clapping but on singing, the taking of photographs and the wearing of T-shirts. Sir Henry vowed to reinstate the ceremonial regalia of the Speaker, including full-bottomed wig. Dame Rosie, less of a traditionalist, said she wouldn’t wear a wig but might wear tights.

They all also pledged to do a lot less speaking than the current Mr Speaker.

Mr Bryant, in particular, spoke of the perils of verbosity. Several times. At some length. He went on speaking about it even after the chairman of the hustings had tried to call him to order.

The bookmakers’ favourites are Sir Lindsay, who alternates between boxing referee and talent show compère, and Ms Harman, who has the perpetual air of a headmistress forced to discipline a normally well-behaved pupil (she’s not angry, just very disappointed). Ms Harman said “people in the street” were “talking about the Speaker election”. Sir Lindsay said “the good folk of Chorley”, his constituency, were “really excited” about his prospects.

Personally, I would keep an eye on Mr Bryant. He seems very eager to win. He gave journalists at the hustings a glossy campaign flier, complete with slogan (“An Umpire, Not a Player”), a 20-point manifesto, and a lengthy list of career achievements (“Former member of the parliamentary rugby team and reigning parliamentary swimming champion”). His flier also boasted endorsements from MPS, the most prominent of whom was Michael Gove. Fingers crossed that, on the day of the vote, Mr Gove doesn’t withdraw his support and announce that he now intends to become Speaker himself.