Jeremy Clarkson and the men shrinking their midlife middles
As a glut of celebrity men slim down, Gavin Newsham reveals his own weighty issues
It was on a Normandy beach this summer when it dawned on me that I had to lose some weight. “Take your top off,” said my wife, as she pointed to the sun disappearing behind a dirty grey cloud. I made my excuses – something about not wanting to get burnt on such a gloriously overcast day – but the truth is I was embarrassed and scared; embarrassed as to how I could get to nearly 50 and look the way
I do and scared that if I did remove my shirt, there was every chance concerned onlookers might try to roll me back into the sea. Good job we didn’t take a holiday in the Faroe Islands. I might have been hacked up and served up to the locals.
There was a time when men could slovenly slide into their middle-age without anyone ever casting a disapproving eye over their fuller figures. Not any more. Remember when David Cameron was papped shirtless on a Cornish beach and the ensuing grief he got for his dad bod? Or the trolling that Leonardo Dicaprio suffered in 2014 when his bare belly was splashed across the New York Post under the headline “The Great Fatsby”? It’s no wonder men are making changes.
Today, men in the public eye are being held to the same ridiculous body standards as their female counterparts and everywhere you look there’s a 50-something hellbent on recapturing their lean, lithe look of yesteryear. Jeremy Clarkson, 59, has lost 2st after going on a diet of salads during a healthy “gap-year” with his girlfriend, Lisa Hogan, 46. In Westminster, former Brexit secretary David Davis’s low-carb diet has seen him lose 1st 11lb while Tom Watson has shed 8st, putting his diabetes into remission and bagging himself a weight loss book deal. The Labour deputy leader attributes his success to “nudge theory”, rewarding yourself for positive results which, in Watson’s case, was treating himself to a gadget for his bike every time he reached a weight target. Stephen
Fry, meanwhile, walked eight miles every morning to drop down from 21st to
15st while Simon Cowell has lost 1st 6lb thanks, he claims, to his new vegan diet. Even Masterchef’s Gregg Wallace, a man who seems to spend all his working life eating, has posted a photo of his new six-pack on Instagram.
But why are more and more middle-aged men taking the fight to the flab these days? Not wanting to die prematurely seems to be a key driver and Tom Watson’s jaw-dropping weight loss, and the subsequent effect on his diabetes, is the clearest evidence of just how changing your lifestyle can reap maximum rewards. And just look at how he dresses these days. One day, he’ll rock up in a Fred Perry T-shirt, the next a buttoned-up Ben Sherman that makes him look like a cross between Phil Daniels and Karl Lagerfeld. But while he’s got his mojo back, you need to ask yourself why you want to lose weight before you embark on your new regime. Is it your health?
For your family? Or is it just vanity?
They’re all valid reasons, all feeding into the other.
Me? I’m sick of looking fat-faced in photos. I hate the fact I wear the same clothes week in, week out, when I’ve got a wardrobe full of others that I’d love to wear again.
It’s not like I’m morbidly obese. You’re not going to see the beaming, slimline me photographed standing in a pair of my cavernous old trousers nor will I end up with folds of excess skin hanging off me once I reach my target weight. But I do need to lose about 15lb and I’m determined to do it in time for my 50th birthday in November. But it’s hard work getting in shape when you’re close to 50 – and it’s nothing to do with me being lazy. Well, not entirely. As men age, levels of testosterone and human growth hormone, which helps regulate the body, deteriorate, making it harder to burn calories and build muscle, so your muscle mass decreases. Men can lose up to 500g of muscle mass each year by the age of 50 – it’s replaced instead by new layers of fat that congregate around the stomach and the chest. In short, the creeping onset of moobs and the middle-aged spread.
So how do you fight back? Well, eat less, eat better and do more exercise. Simple, right? Well, yes and no. It obviously helps if you can get to the gym and, more importantly, if you have a personal trainer there who’ll kick you in the kettlebells when he or she thinks you’re slacking. I’ve been using Revolution Personal Training whose 12-week plan aims to, well, revolutionise the way you look and live. My trainer, Dominic Barette, is exactly the kind of tough taskmaster I need to whip me into shape, laughing mercilessly at my sorry press-ups – then making me do more. Not only do they provide personalised workouts but they’ll also give you diet tips with daily food plans to help you count those calories. The fact that they weigh and measure you each week certainly helps with motivation too.
My rule of thumb has been if you really enjoy eating or drinking something then it’s probably bad for you. Instead, stick to proteins like fish, eggs and nuts, good fats like those found in avocados and healthy carbs like sweet potato. Cutting down on sugar is essential as is planning your food. Make a meal plan each week, go out and buy the food you need and stick to it. It’s not easy, particularly in the early stages, and especially at weekends when the temptation to have just one glass of wine can turn into one too many.
Fortunately, technology can help. I have an app called My Fitness Pal that was recommended by a friend who looks after himself properly. It logs each and every calorie that passes my lips and offsets them against the exercise I do each day. It also charts my weight, whether I’m on track to reach my target weight and, I suspect, how fantastically dull I’ve become since I’ve been on this health kick. In fact, I suspect My Fitness Pal is the only pal I’ve got left.
Back in 2004, I interviewed golfer Colin Montgomerie in one of his leaner periods and talk turned to his dramatic weight loss. “Nothing,” he told me, “tastes as good as slim feels.”
While Monty may have lifted that line from Kate Moss, he had a point, because when you start to see real results it can quickly become an obsession. I’ve lost 10lb in six weeks. My biceps are 3cm bigger, my belly is down by the same and I’ve got a jawline. I’ve lost a cup size too.
Mind you, I’m no Tom Watson…