‘I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown’
The Viscountess on surviving the dreaded dance-off and bouncing back stronger than ever
‘Dancing again for their place in the competition, it’s Emma and Aljaž” are words that are still ringing in my ears. I haven’t slept properly since the weekend. In that moment backstage, sweating pure adrenalin and warming up to dance the Jive again, I was struck numb with dread and my heart sunk when we heard that Dev Griffin was our dance-off opponent.
The judges had praised me for demonstrating stamina and core strength (planking like a maniac before our performance thankfully did the trick!). We were scored a respectable 28, but found ourselves in the no-man’s land of the middle of the leaderboard. During the result’s show, I felt as if my face and body were going to crack with the pressure as our pals cheered us on from the balcony.
Nevertheless, something came over me and I danced better than ever. Fighting for survival and kicking and flicking like my life depended on it. From now on that’s how I am going to tackle it every time I step under that glitterball. Aljaž as always was cool, calm and collected and settled me down by offering me chocolates for an energy boost. By this point in real time it was approaching 11pm [the Sunday results show is, in fact, filmed after Saturday’s live show]; we had to reset and fire up again to take to the floor, skipping to get our heart rates up and urgently toe-heel-swivelling holding onto a banister for support. We have since both admitted that a lot could have gone wrong – those tricks are not for the faint-hearted, as judge Shirley Ballas pointed out.
Once the four judges unanimously saved us I felt bittersweet relief and sadness to be losing Dev. His Aladdinthemed routine from Movie Week was a Strictly highlight and he is a muchloved member of our 2019 family. No one is safe. This competition is on!
My children watched on Saturday and innocently asked if I danced twice because everyone loved it and wanted to see it again. They had no idea that I
was actually on the verge of a nervous breakdown in front of 8.5million viewers. Thinking of them spurs me on. I couldn’t crumble, not for them, not for Aljaž. I feel so grateful for this opportunity and, having come so close to the edge, our next dance will be a major moment to show some mettle.
This week, we are dancing a Viennese Waltz to Saving All My Love
For You by Whitney Houston. Returning to the village hall where we rehearse felt especially poignant. We’ve had some intense days of training, but I think we are both still exhausted from the weekend. We are filmed and microphoned all day, every day in training and found ourselves recording one interview from the floor. But we had to cut one session short so that I could have some urgent physiotherapy for a Jive-induced foot injury. I’m hoping that it will click back into place and I’ll be able to Waltz to Whitney with all the poise and grace worthy of this beautiful dance.
I’m excited to return stronger and to harness some of this newly discovered power, and also so thankful for the lovely tweets and letters which will spur on team Posh & Steps. I can’t wait to do our Viennese Waltz, complete with a ball gown I’m yet to see. I hope my foot will recover. I hope the public like our routine. We can’t bear the thought of being in the dance-off again – best foot forward, literally!
Strictly is on BBC One at 6.40pm on Saturday and 7.15pm on Sunday