It may be time to adopt the eyes shut, fingers in ears approach to Brexit

It was a poignant moment. Richard Burgon – shadow justice secretary and eager Corbynista – was being interviewed by Sky News about Labour’s chances in the next election. “The polls say you won’t win,” said presenter Kay Burley.

“The polls said we wouldn’t win last time,” retorted Mr Burgon triumphantly.

“But,” pointed out Ms Burley, “you didn’t.”

Poor Mr Burgon. She might at least have broken the news to him gently.

At PMQS a little later, Mr Burgon could be seen standing near the door of the chamber, wearing a contemplative frown. I wondered what was on his mind. Perhaps something like: “Ah. So that’s why the little man in the big chair keeps calling that posh man Prime Minister.”

In fairness, MPS have been working long hours of late, so you can hardly blame them if, in their exhaustion, they get themselves into an occasional muddle. And, yesterday, Mr Burgon wasn’t the only one.

Take Boris Johnson. You could tell the Prime Minister was tired, and not just because his hair looked like an exploding haystack. At one point, for example, he referred to his Environment Secretary as a “he”. Her name is Theresa Villiers.

More telling, though, was another little slip he made. As a matter of fact, it was strikingly similar to Mr Burgon’s. “They said we would never get [the Brexit deal] through Parliament,” trumpeted Mr Johnson victoriously. “We got it through Parliament last night!”

“But, you didn’t,” pointed out numerous Labour MPS, Burley-style.

They were right: the deal hadn’t “got through” Parliament. All that had happened was that a majority of MPS had approved the second reading of the Withdrawal Agreement Bill. Some of the Labour MPS who approved that hope to amend the Bill at a later stage, because they don’t actually like the deal in its current form. If they succeed in amending it, some Tory

MPS may stop supporting it; and if they don’t succeed in amending it, those Labour MPS may themselves stop supporting it.

Either way, the Bill’s progress through Parliament may yet stall.

Mr Johnson, however, can’t have heard those shouts of “But, you didn’t”, because twice more he said that the Commons had “approved” his Brexit deal.

And then, afterwards, he repeated this same unfortunate slip in an email to everyone on the Conservative party’s mailing list, declaring that “for the first time in three years, a deal has passed Parliament”. No doubt the Prime Minister will issue a correction the moment he realises his mistake.

Then again, maybe he shouldn’t. In fact, maybe he’s unwittingly stumbled upon a way to solve all his Brexit woes.

In short: simply announce that Brexit has happened, even though it hasn’t.

As long as the EU privately agrees to back Mr Johnson up, all this miserable squabbling could at last come to an end, the nation would breathe a sigh of relief, and everyone could get on with their lives.