Do Harry and Meghan just have ‘Generational Difference’?

Today’s young adults have very specific ideas about who they are and what they deserve

A highly developed sense of your physical and emotional needs is admirable, but may prove tricky in a crisis

It’s looking a lot like open hostilities. First, there was that Tom Bradby interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Now, their aide says that they have “single-handedly modernised the monarchy”. Wow.

But what if what’s really going on here is just a straightforward case of Generation Different? Could it be that Meghan and Harry are not so much chafing against the restraints of royalty and public scrutiny, as exhibiting symptoms of classic GD?

We think it could be. Can’t be sure, but there are certain phrases and expressions that we’ve come to recognise in our twentysomethings as GD, and the thirtysomethings are no different.

It’s also true that bogstandard GD is often misinterpreted – by the over-fifties – as “being a bit spoilt” or “not having a clue how lucky they are”. Not fair: we’re talking about an entirely different way of looking at the world.

As it happens, GD has less to do with parentage and privilege, and everything to do with being of an age where you have never experienced washing your hair without a shower head, and where you could not conceive of being given four-month-old sugar-coated cereal out of a Tupperware container (fond reminiscing chuckle) because, for you, breakfast is an avocado drizzled with tahini or raw honey and Icelandicstyle high-protein, low-fat yogurt.

When you are Generation Different, your idea of discomfort is the person in front of you in economy putting their seat back, and your definition of making do is using the out-of-date sun cream (providing it’s high factor and not own-brand).

GD is about priorities: it’s when a massage after a long journey becomes a human right, when being tired is a reason to take time out (six weeks should do it), and when the concept of “me time” is something to be taken as seriously as we used to take the MMR jab.

Among GD, “as a mother” is a phrase to be used to indicate your sacrifice and your superior perspective, closely followed by “as a woman”. It’s aspiring first and foremost to self-realisation (also called authenticity) and having a highly developed sense of your physical and emotional needs, which is admirable but may prove tricky in a crisis.

Those exhibiting GD are often charming and frequently hard-working, though if they, say, have to work through lunch without replenishing their vitamin D levels, then you know that’s definitely going to be coming up that evening over dinner.

What you sometimes think in the presence of GD is which of you is forming the human bridge in the foundering ferry? Is it the one with the bad back? Is it the one who was told it would be tough but not that they’d have to work late on Fridays?

What you frequently think is, guys, by pre-gd standards, you are a tiny bit self-obsessed, and that would be fine by us if you were entertaining with it, but, as it is, sorry to say, you’re a bit of a bore.

Because that, ladies and gentlemen, is the crux of the matter. Nothing more, nothing less. Boy, can this lot be boring. But we know how to turn this around, by the way… so listen up:

Ditch the first-person pronoun.

Think not “Does this fit with my Plan for Myself?”, think: “Oh, this could be interesting, maybe I’ll learn something.”

Forget how you look and sound. Watch and listen.

It’s not all about you. It’s not even about you a lot of the time, and that’s OK.

Never place your hand anywhere near your heart (excepting US citizens during their national anthem).

Don’t assume anyone is interested in how you feel, unless that person is one of your “Circle of Trust”.

Don’t assume that anyone cares what you do for a living – let alone the detail – and if you happen to do something interesting, do not expect them to be impressed.

There you go. It’s probably too late, of course, but it’s worth a try.