At last, this pathetic parliament faces its payback
Turkeys don’t vote for Christmas – but headless chickens do, it seems. Just when we thought there was no way forward for Boris Johnson – 38 seats short of a majority and unable to pass his deal – the clucking, scrapping opposition has foolishly given him an election.
It has been quite something to see slick Remainers cook their own goose through a mixture of incompetence and greed.
The Liberal Democrats – the Stop Brexit party – has just voted for an election that makes Brexit overwhelmingly more likely, so they can make a cynical land grab for Labour seats.
Meanwhile, Labour has voted for its own funeral, partly in a desperate attempt to save face, and partly because Jeremy Corbyn knows his
days are numbered as leader – clearly, he would prefer to end his career embracing the warm socialist bosom of glorious defeat, rather than becoming the victim of a Left-wing purge.
The imbecility of this parliament is only eclipsed by its duplicity. After the referendum, sighing with ecumenical pragmatism, they gravely vowed to honour the people’s will. They nodded through Article 50, while solemnly side-mouthing resentment. But, when Theresa May lost her parliamentary majority, they smelled blood.
Ever since, they have snorted through their bureaucratic nostrils at the Government, abusing our unwritten constitution and ruthlessly manipulating parliamentary procedure in order to frustrate Brexit at every turn.
From the Remainer pulpit, they have devoutly foamed against Leaver ignorance, proclaiming ad infinitum that “people have changed their minds” and “nobody voted for no deal”.
In short, they have behaved with legalistic, self-righteous impunity, as if doing the God of Reason’s work.
The abruptness of this election is a bonus. It means arch-remain Tories such as Dominic Grieve and Philip Hammond have little time to manoeuvre their way back into the party before they get swept away.
Recent defectors to the Liberal Democrats – who haven’t even had time to put in orders for their “B------to Brexit” canvassing T-shirts – will struggle to drum up support in their new constituencies mere weeks into the job. We are also almost certainly set to see some spectacular scalps on the Left.
Blairite “conviction patricians” in thumping Leave seats who have consistently undermined the referendum result are about to be punished by lifelong Labour voters in a manner this country has never seen.
This twist in the Brexit tale is a wonderful early Christmas gift to Leave voters. There is something almost poetic about an election at this time of year.
How fitting that this parliament should be pitilessly swallowed by the December darkness, as it is finally condemned to political oblivion.
Elections are brutal at the best of times: the endlessly dissected TV debates, the mud-slinging – and that tingling mixture of schadenfreude and pity one feels watching the crumpled faces of unpopular MPS as they lose their seats in the cruel light of dawn.
But this time, there will be something else in the air – a relieved, ruthless determination felt by millions of voters.
After three and a half years of deceit, chaos and torpor, our opportunity to drain the swamp is finally here.