Will you marry me? Only if I can pick the ring...

TRADITION dictates the perfect proposal must consist of your beloved on one knee, waiting to see if the ring they have picked will live up to expectations and grant that all important “yes”.

But now women are taking the reins, choosing to pick and pay for their own rings, as jewellers say engagements are no longer a surprise.

“Definitely girls are getting involved before they’re being proposed to,” said Anna Byers, head of bespoke at 77 Diamonds.

“Women are dropping huge hints and they’re doing the shopping themselves as well, pre-engagement.”

Ms Byers added that the Mayfair jewellers had encountered women contributing to their rings, topping up prices to get a more substantial stone.

She said: “As women and men get paid more equally, maybe it seems a bit unfair, if you have something in your mind that you want, for your other half to foot the bill.

“Couples now are pragmatic, they’re living together first and talking about the future more and they’re being sen- sible how they spend their money.”

Gemma Bentham, assistant manager at Hatton Jewels in London, predicts the trend will rise, especially for women who might want to spend more money on a ring because “they see it as a forever purchase”.

Ms Bentham added that for most couples entering their store, an “engagement is on the horizon” with a date soon to be assigned.

Jewellers report that more and more women are choosing their own engagement rings or even paying for them. An unofficial, completely made-up survey finds that 100 per cent of grooms are “perfectly fine with that”. Few men know their way around an engagement ring display anyway and most are led by price – so perhaps the real loser from this progressive social change is the jeweller, because fewer rings will be chosen on the calculation that, if it is expensive, “it must be what she wants”. On the other hand, if men no longer do the buying, they lose a chance to judge whether or not marriage is really for them. It is the perfect test of a life-long commitment to begin with a shopping trip.