The ‘tradwives’ who believe their place is in the home
A new trend has rising numbers of modern women embracing domestic duty – and feminists up in arms. Estelle Lee reports
Forty years ago, newly-wed wives might have expected a pristine set of Elizabeth David cookery books as a wedding present. A then socially acceptable reminder of wifely duties to feed and nourish loved ones. While women clearly no longer need solely to define themselves by their nurturing role, in sharp contrast to the “slummy mummy” school of blogging, there is an emerging trend to focus on the joys of a traditional domestic setting, accompanied by the social media hashtag #Tradwife.
It seems that sane women in their tens of thousands are throwing out power suits, and investing their time and energies into the wholesome domestic arts of cooking, baking and homemaking – ironically finding a new revenue stream as a result.
Feminists have been enraged by this Fifties-style movement, some describing it as analogous to the far-right, where in the US in particular, housewives and bloggers such as Dixie Andelin Forsyth willingly “submit” to their husbands, Gilead-style. Andelin Forsyth has more than 100,000 community subscribers and provides video instruction on every aspect of tradwifehood, from bread making to the more eerie topic of greeting your husband at the end of the day.
Here in the UK, traditional homemaker and author Alena Kate Pettitt runs the “feminine finishing school” Darling Academy, which provides inspiration, guidance and empowerment for stay-at-home mothers. She argues that tradwifehood is just another choice for women and in no way antifeminist. Once a stressed-out marketing manager, she now describes herself as “household CEO”; with a much higher status role, saying it gives more satisfaction and purpose in life.
Fuelled by social media, it remains to be seen whether the trend represents a worrying backwards step or if it is indeed a supportive community for stay-at-home mothers who – by choice or circumstance – feel out of control during turbulent modern times.
You can blame society’s ills on a growing predilection for social media, but according to social media expert Sara Mccorquodale, author of Influence: How Social Media Influencers are Shaping Our Digital Future, it’s worth remembering that the humble hashtag is but a mirror to the content we consume online and its growing popularity reflects social mores.
“Social media content is often content for entertainment’s sake,” says Mccorquodale. “Followers of #Tradwives are looking for positive distraction from their lives. And bloggers like Pettitt or ‘cleanstagram’ stars like Mrs Hinch are intelligent women who have stumbled upon an unanswered demand and are ultimately monetising the trend.”
Balancing home and work isn’t exactly a new thing. A nostalgia for home and hearth may feel like a retrograde step, but there are plenty who are running families and businesses without the cultish hashtag.
Nina Pittman, a mother of three and founder of Dorset-based Sleepycozy, was a designer at a brand agency before getting married. She used her design skills to launch the nostalgic sleepwear company, which allowed her to manage a small business around the needs of her growing family. Happy to have a traditional role, she says “I’m careful to tell my daughter that she can achieve whatever it is she wants – it’s all about personal choice. That said, it’s important to me that we eat together and that I am there to listen to them at the end of the school day.”
Work is equally a source of creativity and an outlet for Victoria Ropercurzon, founder of childrenswear brand Elfie and a mother of five. Her social media feed is a glorious and authentic mishmash of traditional domestic scenes, with the baby dressed up in own-brand bloomers and bonnet.
“Elfie came from a need to work, to create something,” she says. “The children come first and I am always at home, so there’s no nanny and a lot of mess.” At the end of the day, work is a means to an end, “if they want ballet lessons, I know I need to work harder!”
The authenticity is what makes them aspirational. Women who are doing what feels right for themselves and their families and, in some cases, building a sustainable businesses in so doing. Whether crash courses in Fifties housewifery maintain the zeitgeist in the fickle world of social media, only time will tell.