There’s a job-share vacant since Harry and Meghan left
Workers of Britain, keep, erm, working – figures released this week revealed that employment is now at a joint all-time high. A record number of women working full-time (you’re welcome) were partly responsible for this boom, though a 0.2 per cent drop in job vacancies was also recorded. The latter of which seems surprising, given the number of high-profile gigs up for grabs at the moment ...
Royal ‘It’ couple
Prince Harry’s arrival in his new home of Canada on Tuesday confirmed the Sussexes’ departure from the British bosom and thus an opening for a new royal “It” couple. Which Princess Eugenie seems very keen to fill, ending her months-long Instagram hiatus by posting a picture of herself and husband Jack Brooksbank in Buckingham Palace on Thursday.
The tenth in line to the throne had been keeping a low profile following allegations surrounding her father, the Duke of York, that served up the unlikely double whammy of sullying both the monarchy and Pizza Express Woking. But the Harry and Meghanshaped hole proved too golden an opportunity to pass up, with Eugenie’s return to social media a pertinent reminder that a young couple willing to live in their grandma’s palace in exchange for the odd flash of public engagement is always close at hand.
Gloucester Marathon marshals
Top contenders in the “you had one job” stakes are the Gloucester Marathon marshals who, in fairness, did marshal runners along the course – just in the wrong direction. This led to 15 participants in Sunday’s race being wrongly placed – including the winner – and one entrant being disqualified which, though not identifiably down to the marshals, was probably somehow their fault too. The race organisers intend to sue the (unnamed) marshalling firm for an approach that seemed to mostly consist of pointing and hoping for the best, while participants have shared their relief that “justice has prevailed.” It’s certainly put the 2020 Gloucester Cheese Rolling competition on the map. Not that having one will make any odds to the marshals.
BBC director-general
How to navigate the advent of Netflix, licence-fee furore and underpaying women to the tune of millions? By quitting as BBC director-general, to take the strategy employed by Lord Hall this week. The opening has aroused much interest at No 10, where Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings are reported to have begun searching for a replacement “sympathetic to their aims”. The pair have not identified what it is about the corporation they find so egregious, yet are apparently certain it needs a “big change,” which is very specific and actionable advice. Last month, Cummings revealed his intention to hire “misfits and weirdos”; underlings that would eventually make his own role redundant. Was it all a set-up to facilitate his attempts on W1A? Stranger things have happened – not least his wardrobe choices a few days hence of two scarves, one jumper sleeve rolled up to the elbow and a miniature American football in hand. Cummings-era dress-down Fridays at New Broadcasting House would be interesting, if nothing else.
Bake Off host
Sandi Toksvig is stepping down as the host of the Great British Bake Off,a programme in which amateur cooks fondle bread in a tent set to a running commentary of cake-themed prewatershed smut. Laughing at the words “soggy bottom” for the eight zillionth time appears to have finally lost its allure for Toksvig, who has co-presented the programme since it moved to Channel 4 in 2017. Guesses as to who will replace her have abounded: will it be Mel and Sue, Bake Off’s original hosts? Meghan Markle, now she’s able to pursue acting work again? Prince Andrew, given the impression that the dough-based encounter in Woking more than two decades ago apparently made? Stay tuned.
Fashion behemoth
Designer Jean-paul Gaultier gave his final catwalk show in Paris this week, bowing out after five decades of couture creations including “man skirts”, “granny hair” and Madonna’s 1990 cone bra. Having released an Eighties dance track, fronted latenight show Eurotrash (which also starred Carla Bruni and Melinda Messenger) and become a leading voice in the fight for men to take up wearing kilts, Gaultier’s departure from fashion will be keenly felt. Though given the advent of ecopressures on designers, perhaps his exit is well timed – nobody wants a recyclable cardboard cone-boob catastrophe on their hands.
Girlfriend for Laurence Fox
Being born into an acting dynasty must be awfully dull. This is surely why Laurence Fox has turned his hand to releasing albums (yes, multiple) bemoaning his divorce, as well as appearing on Question Time to decry the censorious Britain in which we now live. One can hardly say anything these days, Fox protested, though he managed to squeeze in accusing a member of the audience of racism, criticising a film for featuring a Sikh actor as a First World War soldier and revealing he once ended a relationship because his other half was too “woke”. Won’t someone free Fox from the shackles of our authoritarian state?
Labour leader
After the election bloodbath, Jeremy Corbyn called for a “period of reflection”. For Labour, that period either never began or ended as soon as Rebecca Long-bailey entered the race to become leader – and was tipped to win. That fanfare has since subsided, mercifully, with several unions giving their backing to candidates less confused as to whether their surnames contain a hyphen. At least “opposition leader” is now one of those rare things: a role with job security for the foreseeable future.