Kitchen-supper style? Take it from the top

ast week, I went round to a friend’s house for a joint Burns Night/ birthday celebration (haggis AND birthday cake: groaning trouser buttons all round). The general cold and mizzle discouraged me from baring any skin at all, even an ankle, so I opted for a tried and tested maximum-impact-for-minimum-effort combination of a simple black longsleeve top (actually a thermal version from Uniqlo) tucked into a pair of bright pink floral trousers by Emilia Wickstead which I bought heavily discounted on The Outnet.

The trousers are wide-legged and floor-sweeping, so I wore them with trainers and very thick socks and no one was any the wiser.

The fly in my ointment came when I arrived and was promptly whisked to a seat at the kitchen table, where I remained for the entirety of the evening. Unlike a mill-about-with-a

Lcocktail Christmas party, an invitation in January, February or March generally includes less milling and more sitting. The problem was – you may have spotted – that once I was seated, no one could see my party piece trousers. With them tucked out of sight, I was just wearing a black thermal top: not exactly Burns ’n’ Birthday appropriate attire.

And without that bright print and colour to draw the eye away, all attention was on my face, which is bearing testimony to my not-at-alldry January following a sopping-wet December with a rampant case of alcohol bloat and under-eye bags.

With two more birthdays to celebrate this weekend – one over lunch, another dinner – I have had to take immediate action, and retire my festive go-to, party trousers, in favour of another half measure: above the table dressing. I don’t mean dressing the actual table, of course, but the parts of me (and indeed, you) visible above the table. Imagine a swan, serenely gliding across the glassy surface of a lake while, underneath the water, its little legs pump furiously.

This is the fashion version of that (it’s applicable to pretty much any seated occasion – such as the gig I’m going to next week). Nothing below the waist will be seen much, which means that jeans or comfy trousers, in soft crepe or jersey, are fine, as is a warm pair of boots or trainers.

Rapper Stormzy accidentally wore his UGG slippers on BBC Breakfast this month (and years ago, I spotted a Vogue editor wearing UGG slippers front row at New York Fashion Week, and that was intentional) so you can definitely argue the case for keeping them on while hosting at home, and putting all of your effort into that serene swan top half. Here’s how.

A deceptively fancy knit

If you can’t be coaxed out of knitwear (and who would blame you), then opt

Above, from left: khaki shirt, £75 (topshop. com); grey cardigan, £140 (rouje.com); pink jumper, £75 (boden.co.uk); green jumper, £175 (essentiel-antwerp.com); gold blouse, £90 (sezane.com)

for a jumper that looks dressier than it is. I remember the faux-layering trend in the Nineties – those cotton shirt collars sewn into knits. They’re suddenly appealing again, thanks in no small part to the comfort-and-ease factor: no tugging a shirt down trying to get the collar to sit properly, no buttons ruining the line of a fine gauge knit, no bulk.

Boden’s cotton knit in pink or navy with broderie anglaise frills at collar and cuffs (£75 boden.co.uk) pretends at artful layering without any; Zara has a nylon version in black or beige for £25.99. If the sound of a frilled collar strikes fear, the small scale of these should reassure you – Andy Pandy would be underwhelmed.

If you prefer a sit-down collar, Warehouse has a simple black jumper with a neat little gingham Peter Pan collar (£39, warehouse.co.uk); it also has a cream knit with a frilledshoulder detail (again, a small frill, not an Eighties-meets-frilled-lizard frill) should you prefer to avoid collars altogether. It’s a lazy but chic style tactic employed by the Duchess of Cambridge: she wore a cosy cream wool knit with a lace collar detail by french label Sezane earlier this week (£90, sezane.com). Or try a metallic knit, like the green foil from Essentiel Antwerp: comfy, but doesn’t look it.

A soft-focus top

In my flat, the dining table is within arm’s reach of the oven, which is handy to keep an eye on the grill, but does mean it’s on the warmer side.

By which I mean, occasionally actually roasting hot, as you’ll get a full blast every time I pull something out, especially if you’re last to arrive and end up sitting basically IN the oven. If your host’s home is of similarly modest proportions to mine, you might want to skip the knitwear (under no circumstances wear cashmere. I can break a sweat in cashmere walking briskly to the train station – try enduring an oven on full blast).

The alternative is a slightly shimmery top that will bounce light up to your face to a very flattering end, which is especially useful if your skin is as sun-starved as mine. The level of shimmer is important – sequins can work outside of the Christmas period, but not this soon after. Look for blouses or shirts with a metallic thread running through them, or silks and satins with a lovely forgiving sheen. At this time of year, a bit of colour is much needed: images from Copenhagen fashion week, which finished yesterday, showed a trend for beige and brown that just looked a bit sad and dreary. The weather is drab enough without adding to it, so look for brighter shades.

If you can afford to invest in keepforever quality, e-tailer The Modist’s own brand, Layeur, has great blouses, and Equipment’s silk shirts are brilliant quality.

Extra lily-gilding

Above-the-table dressing requires turning the jewellery up a few notches. A great pair of earrings is the easiest way: London jewellery label By Pariah’s hand-carved lapis lazuli hoops are truly special, but the usually casual hoop shape makes them perfect for smart-casual wear: chandelier or waterfall earrings could look a bit much over the artichoke dip.

Otiumberg, a British brand founded by two sisters, sells little charms studded with real pearls and semiprecious stones that you can attach to plain hoop earrings to dress them up. You could wear a standout ring or tennis bracelet (or a stack of bracelets) instead of earrings, as everyone will see your hands while you’re eating (and make sure your nails are tidy).

If you want something no one else will have, I love the vintage jewellery selection at Chelsea boutique Felt (also available online, feltlondon.com); at the moment, it has everything from clip-on Chanel earrings to Sixties and Seventies chunky plastic necklaces.

You can zhuzh up hair very inexpensively – Urban Outfitters, Asos, Anthropologie and Accessorize all have faux-pearl, crystal and coloured Perspex hair clips in stock, and the high street has also embraced the return of the headband.