THE AFFAIR
IT’S LONELY BEING A MISTRESS IN A TIME OF SELF-ISOLATION
The last time I spoke to my boyfriend, he told me he had “a bit of a temperature”. Of course, I immediately went worst-case scenario and diagnosed him with Covid-19. But can I go and leave groceries at his front door? Or at least give him a call to see how he’s doing? Reassure myself? No, because my boyfriend lives in another city and he happens to be married to someone else.
Whatever the moral argument – and, believe me, I don’t feel particularly proud of myself – it’s very isolating being a mistress in the time of self-isolation. And in these worrying weeks, the usual Adulteress Problems are magnified. Because we both work from home, my conversations with Giles* generally take place during the day, while his wife is at work and before his kids come home from school (he’s the main carer). But on account of the virus, his wife is now also working from home. For the past few days, Giles has been taking the dog for walks so he can briefly ring me. However, yesterday, he sent me a Whatsapp telling me that his daughter’s nursery has closed. His little girl loves going for walks with Daddy and doggy, so now our relationship comprises me anticipating the “ping” that tells me a text message has arrived.
It can be frustrating for Giles, too. In “peacetime”, I am often out with friends or at the gym in those odd evening hours when Giles does find himself able to call. This means we frequently miss one other for several days. With social activities now cancelled, I’m free after work, but Giles is not. And because of the 150 miles between us (we started our affair at a national trade conference), we can’t meet for daytime assignations.
I do also wonder what would happen if Giles got seriously ill? I only have a mobile number (not his landline, which I could obviously never use, anyway). I don’t know his address. I have met his closest male friend and, I suppose, if the worst happened, I could contact this guy via Facebook.
As you can see, too much time on my own is not good for the nerves.
If I’m sounding flippant here, it could be because I’m trying to hide the fact I’m actually quite scared. I’m alone, and the news reports are daily more alarming. I ache to be with Giles and am seriously worried for his welfare. In these uncertain times, I miss turning to the man I love for reassurance, laughter and distraction.
And here, now, is a Whatsapp from Giles. He’s out with the dog. I’m relieved to hear his fever has come down, but he has as long as it takes for the puppy to poo before he has to go back to the house.
Hence, I have to stop writing this to give him a call. I have no idea when we will see each other again. Anonymous
*Not his real name