LIFE OF A LONELY TEENAGE BOYFRIEND
‘CHEER UP, SON!’
There is nothing so glum, I now discover, as a teenager who can’t see his girlfriend. It’s not just the permanently sad expression my 19-yearold now wears, or the slumped shoulders or the trudgy way he moves from fridge to bedroom and back again. His whole body leaks misery. My son greets the start of the day like a Malaga beach donkey faced with a long line of overweight tourists. His demeanour says: “Let’s just get through this.”
I do understand, really I do. I have had my share of tearful farewells when I was young. But, to be honest, I’d quite like him to cheer up. I have taken to going into his room and announcing “It’s a beautiful day. Why don’t you go for a run?” to which his reply is to roll his eyes.
Of course, boyfriends and girlfriends have always had to endure separations: war, national service, university and jobs away. My son is supposed to be at Nottingham University and his girlfriend is at home, so their relationship has been heightened, I think, by separation. When I went to pick him up from uni at the weekend, they were really looking forward to a romantic reunion.
Instead, they have had to endure my “No Girlfriend Rule”. I made the decision partly because I am working from home, and looking after three kids is enough, I simply couldn’t manage someone else moving in. But this is the point in my son’s life where he should be making his own decisions. Since he was in sixth form, he has been allowed to have girls stay over. I congratulated myself on what a right-on parent I was.
Now I find myself having to row back to become a Victorian parent. Yes, they do Facetime. I have to be careful what I say when I go into his room as she is probably listening. It’s like being bugged by MI5.
To be fair to him, part of my son’s basset-hound expression is due to the fact he is worried about her. He has the emotional intelligence to be attuned to her distress at their separation. “See what a great job I did?” I think. “I have brought up a son who cares about others’ feelings.” But that is looking for the silver lining to the black cloud that is currently hanging over our home.
Lowri Turner
My son is like a donkey facing overweight tourists