I can’t wait for Auntie to home school my family

Thank heavens it’s the holidays. No need to feel grumpy, guilty and frazzled about not homeeducating my 11-year-old because she is officially off.

To the casual observer, “off ” these days doesn’t look any different to “on”. But the huge difference is that, in 10 days’ time – at the start of the new “term” – the BBC is coming to the rescue.

Forget those licence-fee naysayers who would cast aspersions at Brexit bias and inflated salaries, unequal pay and so forth.

Old news. Beginning on April 20, BBC Bitesize (bbc. co.uk/bitesize) will publish daily online lessons for all ages. They will also launch a new dedicated TV channel full of learning content, podcasts on BBC Sounds and loads of educational videos on iplayer.

My eyes welled up with relief when I discovered that, in times of crisis, Auntie is keeping a clear head and leading from the front.

The most ITV has managed is to insist that Love Island will go ahead this summer, which it so won’t – not least because all the waxing bars have been closed for weeks, and I’m not sure anyone’s ready for a Hair Bear Bunch revival.

As far as teaching goes, I must point out that my efforts at home education haven’t foundered because there are no resources out there. They have failed because there are far too many, and I am confused, and my head hurts every time I have to choose between Brainpop and Purple Mash, Twinkl and Outschool. In the interest of balance,

about 5,000 other garish and confusing educational websites are available.

For the past three weeks, I’ve been saying to nobody in particular that I must make the time to sit down and plough through them all before carefully selecting the best one and drawing up a lesson plan.

But that’s why proper teachers have to stay up late and arrive in their classrooms early and are contractually entitled to long holidays.

My mother was a science teacher – my teacher for seven years – and seemed to spend most of her waking hours marking books and, as this was pre-photocopier, handwriting worksheets and drawing diagrams using carbon paper that only made a few copies at a time.

Today, I have every modern luxury at my disposal, but I’m floundering. Or I was until our national broadcaster pledged to come to the rescue of beleaguered parents the length of the land.

And if it comes up trumps, we’ll have a whip-round and pay every refusenik’s licence fee.