In this space sitcom no one could hear me laugh
Time seems to slow down. You’re trapped in a seemingly endless loop with a near-permanent sense of déjà vu. You’ve lost track of what day it is or how long you’ve been stuck here. Not just the experience of lockdown but also how I felt watching Red
Dwarf: The Promised Land (Dave). The cult space sitcom zoomed back onto our screens for a one-off special, proudly trumpeted as “feature-length”. This meant a 90-minute running time, padded out to two hours with copious commercial breaks. It rarely worked when Seventies sitcoms attempted spin-off films – I still shudder at the memory of Holiday on the Buses and The Alf Garnett Saga – but lessons clearly hadn’t been learned.
We rejoined vending machine repairman and last human alive Lister (Craig Charles), hologrammic jobsworth Rimmer (Chris Barrie), preening feline-sapien Cat (Danny John-jules) and sanitation droid Kryten (Robert Llewellyn) aboard their ramshackle mining ship, 3million years in the future. The plot, such as it was, saw them being hunted by a race of feral humanoid cats, led by the ruthless Rodon (Ray Fearon). Smegging hell.
Written and directed by Doug
Naylor, it combined the homespun special effects of vintage Doctor Who with the schoolboy humour of an intergalactic Inbetweeners. The characters bickered their way across the universe, while exchanging sub-blackadder insults (“dozy wazzock!” “gormless gimp!”) and snickering over bum jokes.
Jokes were flogged until they could bleed no more. The story was stretched so thinly, it almost snapped. It had more implausible plot twists and false endings than the interminable Brexit saga. Just when I hoped we’d reached the climactic scene, there would be another ad break and one more part hoved into view.
The mediocre reunion wasn’t without merits. The leading quartet gave game performances, with John-jules and Llewellyn particularly shining. Deadpan comic Norman Lovett, after healing a reported rift with Naylor, made a welcome return as the ship’s laconic computer Holly. There were copious cat-themed sight gags and knowing nods to the show’s past. Craving comfort-viewing in lockdown, long-term fans might well have found it a treat.
For the rest of us – those who Rimmer would call “smegheads” – it was more like an endurance exercise than an Easter treat.
You never got this with Paul Daniels. Dynamo: Beyond Belief (Sky One) found the titular trickster charting his recovery from serious illness while performing street magic worldwide. I liked it. Not a lot but I liked it.
Career-threatening arthritis brought on by his Crohn’s disease saw the Bradford-born conjuror, real name Steven Frayne, retreat from the spotlight in 2017. Airing across three nights, this comeback special saw him back on his feet, donning his black hoodie and showcasing some of the illusion ideas that he had developed from his hospital bed.
Casually clocking up the airmiles as he hopped from Moscow to Mexico City, Dynamo wowed passers-by with close-up card tricks and some terribly modern business involving mobile phones.
On a Dubai beach, he somehow turned a sandcastle into a seething mass of beetles. In Tokyo’s royal tea rooms, he reduced an incredulous Geisha to giggles by balancing crockery in gravity-defying formations. He read minds, melted tequila bottles, made water boil and drove a taxi blindfolded through busy city streets. Backwards.
This was all stylishly shot with overhead drones, immersive steadicam and neon nightscapes. However, video diaries documenting Dynamo’s medical treatment felt intrusive and animé sequences strained to connect the tricks with his health struggles. Meanwhile, his new-agey narration droned on about “the pain continuum”, “dream journals” and the power of meditation. He has many talents but dramatic voicework isn’t one of them.
It tried far too hard to feel epic when, in fact, the magic tricks were good enough to do the talking. Dynamo’s thrilling feats and the disbelieving reactions that they elicited still had spine-tingling power. It’s just a shame they were framed in such a pompous, po-faced fashion. I’m glad you’re feeling better, Mr Frayne, but less mystical mumbo-jumbo and more abracadabra next time please.
Red Dwarf: The Promised Land ★★ Dynamo: Beyond Belief ★★★