What to buy (& who to spot!) at garden centres today
The plantaholic
Has read every garden magazine, watched every episode of Gardener’s World and talks of fashionable gardeners like they are old friends. Knows to plant in drifts, not to have too many single plants, to be disciplined, to edit. But will think about that tomorrow – for today we shop. Will come out with: one of everything.
Mini the moocher
Gazes wistfully at the closed-off café remembering brunches past, as she mooches around the scented candles, tasteful botanical design paper napkins, aprons with Head Gardener stencilled on them, and pheasant doormats. Will come out with: a plaque saying, “I’m in the garden – don’t fence me in.”
Top drawer planter
Generally speaking, there is nothing for them in a normal garden centre. Usually found hunting specialist nurseries for plants so refined they would never dream of doing anything quite so vulgar as flowering, at least not so as you would notice. Will come out with: You’ve never heard of it.
Tool wrangler
There are so many pockets in his waistcoat and trousers it takes him 20 minutes to find his Leatherman pocket knife. Do not get him on the dribble pipe watering system he can operate from his smartphone. Just don’t. Will come out with: a set of solar speakers in the shape of small boulders.
Busy Lizzie
Has the best hanging baskets and window boxes in the close. You certainly can’t get within two metres of them in case the dazzling combination of begonias, fuchsias, pelargoniums and lobelia burns through your retinas. She never met a petunia she didn’t like. Will come out with: a metal pink flamingo statue.