Our need to grieve

Of all the restrictions imposed during the lockdown, among the hardest for many to bear are the constraints placed on funerals. The photographs of coffins in funeral chapels or crematoria officiated by a solitary priest, funeral director or celebrant are heartbreaking.

There is little rhyme or reason behind many of the lockdown measures. But it seems extraordinary that it is fine for people to go into a shop with dozens of others but not to gather, safely apart, to say goodbye to a loved one. There are no funerals taking place at all in churches which remain closed even as garden centres reopen. Why are the bishops letting this continue when the country is being urged back to work? Religious leaders should end it now and adapt to living with the virus as others are having to do.

Where funeral arrangements are run by local authorities, some have allowed mourners to gather only outside and then to watch proceedings by video link, even though this is not the advice of the Government. Officially, provided social distancing is observed, there is nothing to stop a funeral going ahead with close relatives in attendance.

Families denied access to church funerals have had grave-side services and been told that they can hold memorial services at a later date. Many may be content with that but most won’t be. Saying goodbye to a loved one is integral to what makes us human and the rituals have been performed in one form or other since the dawn of time.

The death of a relative or friend is hard enough to take without being denied the chance to grieve properly. The long-term psychological impact on many families will be profound.