Don’t mention the other F-word…

The new Covid-era rules on fat – and how to talk about it

‘At the beginning of March, fat was a nasty word, used by sneery, mean, probably rich people’

God you have to be on your toes with fat. I’m not talking about the “quarantine 15” – the estimated pounds we’ll have piled on by the time the lockdown is lifted – I’m talking about how we think about fat: are we for or against, loving the plus size or keener on lean? Is fat even an acceptable word for excess weight? Is the word excess in the context of weight appropriate, or a bit shamey?

You can’t deny it’s confusing. We have been on a long and bumpy journey with fat over the course of the past few decades – involving several U-turns and off-road detours – and now, in the space of a couple of months, we’re more or less back where we started.

At the beginning of March, fat was a nasty word, used by sneery, mean, probably rich people intent on putting down other people who were victims of sizeism. Now, thanks to the pandemic, being overweight is suddenly officially bad news, an underlying health issue, not a lifestyle choice (with no caveats, including being successful, energetic, good with the ladies and fit enough to beat David Cameron at tennis).

The Prime Minister’s time in intensive care and his subsequent admission that his BMI was to blame (“Don’t be a fatty in your fifties,” he’s alleged to have said) seems to have been the screeching handbrake turn in our relationship with fat. And now we are (sort of) facing in the opposite direction.

Here’s the situation until further notice:

v It’s OK to use the word fat providing you are talking from experience and owning it, eg Boris. Otherwise it is much better and more polite to say “overweight”. Obese is still a word you only want to hear in a medical context. v Everyone has clocked that you don’t have to be Cyril Smith to be obese. v It’s no longer cool to be skinny. What you want to be is fit, strong and lithe and it’s far better to have a six pack and honed biceps than birdlike legs and bony shoulders. Daisy Ridley’s figure (Rey in the sequels to Star Wars) is the one to aspire to, or Adriene’s (as in Yoga with Adriene). Women of all ages want to look like we can wield the lightsabre, we don’t want to wear flowers in our hair and get carried across puddles any more. (While we’re on the subject of looking healthy, smoking: looking more and more like standing outside Greggs with a sausage roll in both hands and a Covid mask around your eyes.)

v Men in their fifties and sixties (previously the most resistant to dietary change) are now level pegging with their diet-conscious female counterparts – they may even be ahead of them. Look at the enviable shape Pierce Brosnan is in, and are you surprised? No, because that’s the way the midlife men are heading. This time last year your average fiftysomething man was considering giving up biscuits. Once we’re out of lockdown they’ll all be fasting before midday, no carbs or booze Monday to Friday, and boxing three times a week. It’s already happening. v You don’t have to be slim any more to wear tiny shorts and a crop top. The new rule is: fine if it’s firm not flabby.

v Adele has lost a ton of weight (seven or more stone) and that’s got everyone thinking. If Adele with the big voice and the big personality can still be Adele and a third of the size … Well. Fat apologists have lost a big one in Adele. v Boris is the game changer. He’s the one who was always out for a run looking lardy, but square as a prop forward, living the Billy Bunter dream. That dream is now over for good.

Stay Alert.