‘My brother missed dad’s funeral to obey lockdown rules’
Debbie Goacher My 86-year-old father had been living in a care home since mid-2019 following several spells in hospital.
I visited him at the home when I could, and by December, he had become weak and double incontinent and said he was depressed.
The care home staff did their best for him but he was a very stubborn and proud man.
On Good Friday he was admitted to Kettering General Hospital with pneumonia. He was tested for coronavirus but we were never officially told the result. With
Britain in lockdown, neither I nor my brother could go and visit him, despite our longing to do so.
I phoned the hospital ward daily for updates and the nurses and doctors we spoke to were very reassuring, but it wasn’t the same as being able to see him face to face in his final days.
As for dad, he was not eating or drinking nor communicating with the staff.
I think he had decided by this point enough was enough. On April 22 I received a phone call to say that my father had passed away.
It’s impossible to know how he felt at the end since of course we couldn’t be there.
I’d imagine he was scared but he had a strong faith and I can only hope he was at peace. I was heartbroken I couldn’t be by his side at the end. But we understood why the rules were necessary as Britain battled the virus.
Dad’s funeral was held on May 6 at Kettering Crematorium, with only eight family members present.
My brother was advised not to travel from his home near Manchester due to the Covid restrictions and in the context of the Government guidance, it seemed to me he made the right decision in not making the journey.
Dad had a prepaid funeral package but of course most of it couldn’t be done.
It was very strange in the chapel and not the kind of send-off we would have liked him to have: socially distanced chairs, no touching of the coffin, and so on. It was a short service and not what our father had planned.
Like many, I am beyond furious that Dominic Cummings meanwhile was busy breaking the lockdown rules we were making such effort to follow, even at great emotional cost.
It seems the Government has one rule for them and one for the rest of the population. Their handling of the Covid situation has been a disaster from the start and this feels like the ultimate insult.