Sorry Mr Hancock, but we cannot move on until you-know-who does

You’ve got to feel for ministers right now. It must be a nightmare, getting sent out to face questions about Dominic Cummings day after day, and wondering how on earth you’re going to defend him this time. Imagine the brainstorming they must have to do beforehand.

“I must say, Sophy, this is very unfair. Everyone seems to be focusing on the times Mr Cummings was travelling around – but no one has given him any credit for the times he wasn’t travelling.

“As a matter of fact he stayed in the same place on numerous occasions, often for whole hours at a time…”

Or perhaps: “These attacks are appallingly ill-informed. In reality, Mr Cummings has spent lockdown working shifts as a delivery driver for Morrisons, serving the crucial London-to-durham route…”

It must have been even harder to think up excuses after Mr Cummings’s bizarre statement on Monday – which featured the mysterious claim that he took his wife and four-year-old son on a lengthy motoring trip purely to check that his eyesight was still working.

Cue more frantic brainstorming for ministers. (“Actually, Martha, I go on 60-mile drives with small children to test my failing eyesight all the time. If anything, driving while visually impaired is actually safer, because it forces you to concentrate harder. Dominic Raab always drives blindfold…”)

Yesterday, the short straw was drawn by Matt Hancock, and out he trudged to face questions at the daily news conference.

From the start, it was clear that the Health Secretary wasn’t relishing the challenge. These days he always sounds weary and put-upon, but this time he had a distinctly grumpy edge.

He spent significantly less time than usual answering questions, and avoided follow-ups.

He continued to defend Mr Cummings: while he “understood” why people might “take a different view”, he insisted that Mr Cummings had acted “within the guidelines”. Which is curious. Because when Neil Ferguson, the former scientific adviser, was visited at home by his girlfriend, an indignant Mr Hancock suggested the police should investigate.

Yet when Mr Cummings and his wife drove the length of England while experiencing Covid symptoms, it was apparently all above board.

The trouble with this line, of course, is that members of the public have been fined for driving their children long distances. As was pointed out to Mr Hancock yesterday by the first questioner: a clergyman from Brighton.

Would the Government now review these fines? For a moment, the Health Secretary looked utterly thrown. Then hastily he promised to “talk to my Treasury colleagues” and “look at it”.

Remarkable. Apparently the Government would rather change the rules than change adviser.

Several times, and in a somewhat impatient tone, Mr Hancock mentioned that he would very much like to move on and talk about other issues.

Unfortunately, however, it will be difficult for him to do that until this particular issue goes away.

And, as he must surely know, there’s only one way to make that happen.

‘The Health Secretary always sounds put-upon, but this time he had a distinctly grumpy edge’