‘Now I’ll probably have to resign from a job that I love’

When I heard that schools wouldn’t be opening until September, or even later, I mentally drafted my resignation letter. I work full time and manage a team of six. I also have two young children, and very early on it became clear – as it did among nearly all my friends who also work – that I would be doing most of the home schooling. Is that fair? No, not really, but studies show that mothers are doing more home schooling than fathers, even when both parents work. Pre-pandemic, my husband Mark and I split the school runs and activities fairly equally. But since the schools closed, most of it has fallen to me, including the often invisible emotional load. The kids need constant help, reassurance and motivation, which I have to provide while trying to work. My youngest lacks confidence, so I have to talk him through each step, and my eldest struggles to concentrate when unsupervised.

I can’t always be with her when I need to get work done, but then

I feel guilty. The school’s online work is not nearly enough to fill a school day, either.

This is just as awful for the children as it is for me. They argue constantly because they’re sick of each other, sick of me, sick of the situation they find themselves in, and they miss their friends. I’m often breaking up fights or wiping away tears while on the phone to my boss. They’re not exercising enough, and I can see it in their waistlines and energy levels. Lately, my son has been refusing to work at all, and there are tears most mornings. It’s exhausting. With all of this going on, work has become untenable. I’m not sleeping properly, have no time to exercise and am at breaking point. A teacher friend says she suspects kids won’t be back at school until October or possibly even November; on hearing that, I cried.

So this week I will probably have to resign from a job that I love. Do I want to leave a company I’ve been happy at for eight years? No. But I simply can’t keep this up until November, or whenever it is they’ll eventually go back.

A recent study found mothers are 14 per cent more likely to be furloughed than fathers, and 47 per cent more likely to lose their jobs or resign due to this pandemic. And I’m fearful I’ll never find another job when all this is over.

But I know I can’t continue like this, for my sake, but more importantly for my children’s sake.

It just doesn’t work.

Amy*, a 40-year-old finance manager, has two children, a son aged 7, and a daughter aged 10

I’m one of the lucky parents who had kids returning to nursery and school last week. My first instinct was relief: with so many still out of school, I am aware I shouldn’t be complaining. Now, though, it’s a week in, and I’m horribly conflicted.

First off, it feels terribly unfair. Why should my kids just because of their ages get the chance to go back when so many others are grounded? Then, it’s becoming evident that my daughter’s experience this week has been far from “normal”. While many of the new rules in place are sensible – more handwashing, cleaning, good hygiene, things that even young kids can easily follow without distress – I’ve felt deeply uneasy about the distancing measures now in place.

Driving up to the school gates on the first day, I

My daughter is back at school but has felt ‘sad and lonely’ at times

took a sharp intake of breath as the new reality sank in: five- and six-year-olds lined up two metres apart along the pavement, unable to run and greet each other after a three-month absence. Over the course of the week it’s become evident requiring the kids to “do the two-metre thing” isn’t possible in the case of young children and when it is in place it feels cruel.

According to my daughter, “two metres is too far to have a proper conversation”; break times are spent sitting apart at desks and playing, alone. While it was apparently “brilliant” to see friends, at times it has felt “sad and a bit lonely”.

The more I read about the science, the more my unease grows: the evidence that social distancing is harmful to children is substantial, and that’s even before the broader social equality concern is addressed.

It is why I and two other parents have set up Usforthem.co.uk, a campaign calling on the Government to urgently get schools back to normal. In just a few weeks, we have received thousands of messages from parents, teachers and child psychologists sharing our concerns. It’s clear that these measures are preventing our schools from opening fully and, in so doing, are jeopardising the welfare of millions of children.