Interview ‘I felt that I needed to bleach my skin to fit in’
Annie Tagoe explains to Kate Rowan how racist slurs at school led to her taking extreme action
Annie Tagoe does not flinch as she repeats the racial slurs that led her to bleach her skin.
The words tumble out as the 27-year-old explains how she has endured endless remarks about her skin, dating back to secondary school in north-west London, where racist abuse was a regular occurrence.
The conversation makes for uncomfortable listening as Tagoe repeats the slurs – “dirty skin”, “charcoal” and “midnight” – her painful, lived experience of shadism and colourism, and how it has impacted on her life.
As a teenager, Tagoe aspired to be an actress rather than an athlete. Yet it was looking at how the entertainment industry presented women of colour – along with the schoolyard taunts – that caused her to apply bleaching cream to her skin every morning and evening.
“I felt less because when I was growing up wanting to be an actress, it was always more mixed race or lighter skinned women that were shown to be beautiful,” she tells Telegraph Women’s Sport.
“I needed to bleach my skin for every part of my life, even sport. I did it because I wanted to look pretty all the time. I used it to make myself feel like I fitted in.”
Although Tagoe showed a natural aptitude for athletics from the time she was a small girl in Ghana, when she moved with her family to London at the age of six, her heart was set on attending drama school. But there she only felt more alienated.
The running commentary on her skin tone continued when she attended the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama. Black students were in the minority and she was at a point of feeling almost numb to endless pronouncements of, “Annie, your skin is so dark,” from white classmates.
“It was strange for me because so many of the people were white and middle class. I felt like I had to become a different person in that environment,” she says.
Tagoe graduated but opted not to pursue an acting career, as she felt more comfortable in the world of athletics. “Once I was in drama school, I felt it wasn’t worth it because a lot of the roles are not catered to us, especially in a school that is so white,” she says.
“I trained with more black people in athletics, so I felt more comfortable than in acting.
I feel safer there because my coach is black, and some of my training partners are black.
“I feel like no one can say you got something because of your race in track and field. You succeed because of your times. You run and you either get on the team or not. It is simple. I couldn’t imagine myself being in a team sport because I think when it comes down to teams being picked, race could come into it.”
Yet despite finding a safe haven in athletics, where she thrived as a junior, becoming the England Under-17 100metres champion, the journey has been far from straightforward. Four injuryravaged years, including surgeries on both knees, meant that she was never able to capitalise on having held the British 60m record, which Dina Asher-smith would go on to break.
Tagoe came through the injuries and a bout of depression, as well as intense anxiety, which at times prevented her from racing, to gain a place in the relay at the 2018 Anniversary Games.
But misfortune struck again as she was injured in a car crash just days before she was due to compete.
She continues to strive to make a comeback in athletics, but life as an unfunded athlete is not easy.
One area where Tagoe points to disparity is around education on female athlete issues such as menstruation. While much progress has been made, with football clubs such as Chelsea tailoring aspects of women’s training to menstrual cycles and the English Institute of Sport providing support for funded athletes and their coaches, she believes there is “exclusivity” to who receives the help. Tagoe recalls one situation where an athlete was lying on the ground crying out in pain due to menstrual cramps. “Even though she was an adult woman, she didn’t know what to do,” she says. “It wouldn’t cost much to compile a booklet and to send it to athletes on the ranking list.”
Such is Tagoe’s resilience, she has found another way to educate herself on menstrual health. She is working with Swedish healthcare brand Intimina as an ambassador and is an advocate for the use of menstrual cups, which the company manufactures.
“I don’t think people talk about their periods enough in track and field. Nobody mentions it. It is something that I feel is kept a secret,” she says.
“I think people just expect you to deal with it privately because you have been dealing with it every month since you were young. That is why I want to talk about menstrual health and hygiene.”
It is back on the subject of race, however, where Tagoe wants to see real change. “It is not easy,” she says. “We are still fighting for equality in so many things. We are still fighting for our voices to be heard.
“At the top of UK Athletics, there aren’t a lot of black people, most of the coaches at the very top are white, most of the medical people are white, from what I have seen.
“I feel like Black Lives Matter is the start of something big. It is the start of our voices being heard. It is the start of us being accepted.
“At the end of the day, why should the colour of our skin matter? We all have the same skeletons. We all move and talk the same.”
‘There aren’t a lot of black people at the top of athletics, most coaches and medics are white’