Change the Zodiac … but I’ll always be a Capricorn

The discovery of a 13th star sign, Ophiuchus, has left horoscopes – and astrology fan Claire Cohen – in a spin

Ihave always been a goat. Stubborn, relentless and liable to butt horns with those who don’t hold themselves to my exacting standards. We’re a type. More than once, during interviews with ambitious, professional women, they’ve suddenly paused and ventured: “You’re a Capricorn, too, aren’t you?”

Not any more, should Nasa get its way. The space agency has discovered a 13th sign of the zodiac – Ophiuchus, the snake bearer – and is reportedly trying to reshuffle the dozen existing star signs to cram it in. It means that, for many people, the stars simply no longer align – myself included. Born in early January, I would now be classified as a Sagittarius, which just won’t do at all.

Arguably, it’s a more desirable option: the archer, a free spirit, full of enthusiastic energy. A passionate “fire” sign, compared with the goat’s boringly practical “earth” credentials. But, let’s be honest, that’s just not me. Capricorn may be one of the less dazzling signs of the zodiac (our tarot card is apparently that of the devil), but the cap fits.

It’s taken three decades to concede that my personality does, largely, align with the attributes assigned to the strong-willed, though loyal and resilient, goat (not to mention that, in sporting circles, “Goat” is widely understood to stand for “Greatest of all Time”). Now you want to pull the rug from under my hooves?

I should say, here, that I’ve never immersed myself in astrology, nor do I follow my horoscope religiously. I have never, like one editor I was told about, taken a day off “sick” because my chart told me to expect a “mysterious delivery” (shocker, nothing came).

I’m a reasonably sensible grown-up.

Like many people, I recognise myself in the personality traits attributed to my sign

I’ve got a degree, a marriage and a mortgage. Logic tells me that there’s no such thing as fate. That the position of the Sun, Moon and planets when I was born likely has no bearing on my future and it doesn’t matter whether I’m a billy goat or a bow-woman.

But like many people, I do recognise myself in the strengths and weaknesses attributed to my star sign. And I keep an eye on my horoscope, here and there. It’s become more of a selfabsorbed habit than anything (very

Capricorn). As a child, in the era of Mystic

Meg, I used to read the newspaper horoscopes aloud to my younger sisters in – for reasons lost to the mists of time – the voice of Janet Streetporter. It started as a childish joke, but they became a must-read in my teenage magazines – a way, pregoogle, to check my non-existent love life for signs of a pulse.

Now my horoscope is something I occasionally scan, usually in times

Starting the year as a Capricorn and ending it as a Sagittarius is an unwelcome shake-up

of uncertainty. It’s not that I believe it, more that it can offer a momentary flicker of optimism.

I’m not alone. The past couple of years have seen a surge in the number of people dating according to the stars, largely attributed to a decline in hopefulness among my millennial generation. Apps such as Match. com ask for your star sign, while Bumble lets you search for your next match according to theirs. Instagram

astrologers offer personalised readings to their thousands of followers, while astrology apps are catching up with meditation and wellness ones. One such app, The Pattern, was downloaded half a million times in July 2019 alone, after actor Channing Tatum posted about it on social media.

Little wonder so many people – mostly women, who a 2014 Gallup poll showed are more prone to believing horoscopes than men, thanks to a historic lack of control over their own lives – are up in arms over Nasa’s proposal.

As if 2020 hasn’t been turbulent enough, the idea of starting the year as a Capricorn and ending it as a Sagittarius is just another unwelcome shake-up. The past few months have already been the opposite of what we all expected, now you want to tell me my zodiac sign is suddenly the opposite, too?

Sorry, Nasa, but you can shove Sagittarius where the zodiac don’t shine.