How to circumnavigate post-lockdown loneliness

The lockdown may have eased, but social contact remains restricted: without someone to share ideas or compare views with, we are at greater risk of illnesses from the common cold to heart disease. How can we satisfy our cravings for companionship?

1. Maintain the friendships you have, checking in with top-tier friends regularly. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have “news”. Just making contact will give the message, “I am thinking of you.”

2. Propose to members of groups you are in, like book clubs, that you restart inperson meetings (if they have been paused) or continue them virtually, if others aren’t yet comfortable with social gatherings. If you have an area of interest as yet unexplored, join a local group to meet like-minded friends.

3. In the old days, going to a film together was a good connector. In the absence of theatres and some cinemas reopening, use technology that syncs films to watch together, texting or phoning during the intervals or afterwards to trade thoughts. This is much more stimulating than watching alone.

However, don’t expect screen time to be the same as person-toperson contact; the rhythm and the flow of conversation will have a different beat.

4. Make use of outdoor meetings. It’s a good idea to go beyond the face-to-face, across-the-table talk – instead, picnic in a park or wander around an outdoor market.

5. Discriminate. At a time when friendships require extra thought, it’s a good idea to pare away those that are tedious or draining. There are, after all, some friends we need less of.

Dr Apter’s most recent book, Passing Judgment: Raise and Blame in Everyday Life, is available now