The weddings that have been corona-cancelled again
Being forced to postpone their nuptials for a second time has been devastating, couples tell Eleanor Steafel
At 1pm on May 28, Bethany Pearson looked up at the clock and burst into tears. She should have been walking down the aisle to the glorious sound of a choir singing Elton John’s Your Song, her beaming fiancé Jack waiting for her at the other end, while 70 of their loved ones looked on. Instead, she was at home in Cambridge in the midst of lockdown, trying to steel herself to plan a minimal ceremony and reception for just 30 later in the summer. Imagine, then, her disappointment when after weeks spent rebooking make-up artists and photographers, waving goodbye to non-refundable deposits and altering her expectations, she was told plan B was also cancelled.
Last week, the Prime Minister announced – with less than 24 hours’ notice – that receptions for up to 30 people would have to be put on the backburner. Just like that, couples across the country who had made new arrangements for intimate but hopefully still jolly weddings, once again faced having to rethink.
Their new choices: keep the summer date and hold a reception with just one other household indoors, or four other people from different households outdoors; push everything back a few weeks in the hope a reception for 30 might then be possible; or cancel it all for the second time, and try again next year.
Bethany, 27, an estate agent, and Jack Stewart, 30, a solicitor, had spent two months reorganising their entire reception, paying extra to cover the fact that their new date was bang in the middle of wedding season, and resolving to have a brilliant day regardless of the circumstances.
“It’s quite a small church anyway, so it wouldn’t have felt too bare,” says Bethany. “And we were still going to have our meal but were just going to do it outside [the venue] in the courtyard. We thought everyone would feel more comfortable with it being out in the open. We cancelled the magician. I was going to have a day dress and an evening dress, but felt a bit silly having an evening dress when it was just going to be our families.”
But when the new announcement came, their decision was clear. If they couldn’t even get all their closest family members, bridesmaids and groomsmen together to celebrate, what was the point of it all? They chose to put everything off again until next year.
“The problem now is most places are booked up until next year,” she says. “The venue only had one date left – August 19. We’ve lost our make-up artist, we’ve lost our vicar, and we’ve called around and there are no other vicars available. We couldn’t have our photographer either.
“We’ve lost all of our deposits. We paid the extra money to move it to this August, and the prices go up again after a year, so we’re now into the 2021 budget. In total we’ve lost about £3,000 – if not more.”
Matthew Dingwall and Abi Hobbs were due to get married on a grand estate in Devon in May. Both contracted the virus early on and quickly realised the wedding they had been dreaming of for a year wasn’t going to happen due to lockdown.
“We both got it in March. Abi contracted it in a care home that had zero PPE and zero testing,” says Matthew, 32. “The hospital shoved people into homes and it spread like wildfire. They lost six out of 14 people in about five days.”
They tried to shift the date to late September this year, but when it became clear they would only be allowed a maximum of 30 guests, their venue couldn’t agree to go ahead with
‘The circus has opened, but getting 30 people together for a ceremony has been banned?’
such a small number. “It wasn’t financially viable,” he says. “We decided that we desperately wanted to get married, so we booked a small register office service with a reception for September 5.”
Now, it looks as if their plan to just have a small wedding may also be scuppered, with no guarantee that the current restrictions will have eased by this time next month. The news that plan B may also be on hold was, he says, “really hard to take”. “The frustration from our point of view is schools are opening, we’re all being encouraged to eat out and go to pubs. The circus opened two days ago, so you could legitimately go out for dinner, to a show and for drinks afterwards.
“But getting 30 people – where everyone will know at least one other person in that room – together, and that’s banned? It’s just very frustrating.”
Even with 30 guests, their reimagined ceremony and reception was never going to be “anything close” to what they’d envisaged, and it’ll be even less so should they decide to go ahead and get married while the current restrictions are in place. The guidelines stipulate ceremonies should be “as short as reasonably possible” and limited to just what is legally binding. “There’s a very good chance my partner won’t be able to have her dad walk her down the aisle because of social distancing. The rings won’t be able to be passed over, and if they are they’ll have to be washed.
“We’ve been told it’s bare minimum, we’re not allowed readings. It’ll be in, do your vows, get out. All guests now have to wear masks as well, so it’s not even close to what we wanted,” adds Matthew. “We now feel our wedding is becoming a technicality. Rather than being a celebration of our relationship it’s becoming a form-signing exercise.”
The hardest thing, he says, is the idea that some of their most cherished friends might not be there with them. “It’s not being around loved ones and not having everyone there enjoying the moment that we say we want to be husband and wife.
“We’ve already got drama with people finding out we’re trying to get married with [ just 30 guests], and demanding to know why they’re not invited.”
The couple are hoping against hope that the restrictions are eased by the first week of September, but if they aren’t they will have to rethink for a third time. Mostly, Matthew says, he is devastated for his fiancée, who so deserved to enjoy her big day after a challenging year. “The wedding was to be her escape and a moment to focus on herself, which currently has been taken away again.”