Like the Queen, I know the joy of finding a film you agree on
Sharing movies with the grandchildren is great – just be sure to watch them first, warns Jan Etherington
What a pleasant surprise to learn from actor Brian Blessed that the Queen’s favourite film is apparently Flash Gordon – and that she watches it every Christmas, with her grandchildren. Achingly camp and bristling with special effects, it depicts Ming the Merciless being thwarted from destroying the earth by our titular hero, all to a soundtrack by the band Queen. Ah, perhaps that’s why she likes it.
The most impressive element of Blessed’s revelation is that Her Majesty has cracked it and found a film that she and her grandchildren can enjoy together. Deciding on a multi-generational watch is a tough decision.
Everyone has an opinion – especially in our family. We’re all movie buffs: my eldest granddaughter, Daisy, is doing a film theory degree and her brother, Jackson, is about to start a college course in animation and special effects. My son-inlaw is a magazine film editor.
But we might all be in agreement on one film: Richard Curtis’s Four Weddings and a Funeral. Watch it with the kids, by all means – it’s warm, funny and strong on friendship – but start five minutes in. The opening is not exactly dialogue – just a stream of F-words (13) from Hugh Grant, who is late for a friend’s wedding.
Like my grandchildren and me you’ll laugh at familiar scenes and enjoy repeating the famous lines to each other – especially Hugh Grant’s declaration to Andi Mcdowell: “In the words of David Cassidy, in fact, while he was still with The Partridge Family – I think I love you.” And we all have “something in our eye” at the end.
You might also want a tactic for the sex scenes. As a Welsh Baptist with a strict upbringing, I’m still very uneasy about smut, and there really is nothing more awkward than suddenly coming upon a racy scene with your children, grandchildren or parents all tuned in. Now the watershed’s pretty much drained away, sex can turn up unannounced. So, if I’m watching a film with the family, my thumb remains poised over the remote, as alert as a University Challenge contestant.
I once did a swift channel hop, when I thought rumpy pumpy was imminent in Bridget Jones’s Diary, only to crash land in the middle of Channel 4’s Naked Attraction, which is like a naturist Blind Date.
Which is why it’s wise for grandparents to watch the film first, before getting out the popcorn and announcing a family film night.
My friend Bill remembers sitting with his grandmother when she was watching her favourite drama, Dennis Potter’s Pennies From Heaven.
No sooner had Bill sat down than the camera zoomed in on Cheryl Campbell and Bob Hoskins romping naked under the trees in the Forest of Dean.
Bill thought, “this won’t last long” but minutes – tens of minutes – went by. The opportunity had passed when he could have leapt up and said, “I’ll make some tea.” Finally, after what seemed like three days of bonking, Bill’s grandmother turned to him and said, “You don’t hear much about Canada these days, do you?”
This has now become the default comment among our family and friends for any awkward moments on screen.
Being an Alan Bennett fan, I took my then teenage son with me to see
A Private Function. I’d heard it was funny and I knew it would be well written. What I didn’t know was that, halfway through, Rachel Davies would be bent over the bedpost, by a rampant Pete Postlethwaite. As it was the cinema, I couldn’t switch over or nip out to put the kettle on.
But my son leapt up, muttering urgently, “I’m going to get some popcorn. Now.”
Grandparents also need to note that films can have a powerful effect on young children. As a child, Jackson watched Jaws round the clock – and then refused to go on our local harbour ferry, in case there were sharks in the water. His current favourite film is Tartovsky’s Stalker. No, Nana’s not watching it with him.
Anyone who has watched a film with a young grandchild will know the power of repetition: Daisy was three when Finding Nemo was released and I watched it with her at least 50 times. I knew the entire script off by heart and my eyeballs started revolving every time the film was mentioned. Then my Australian granddaughters (who are now 13 and 11) also got hooked on Finding Nemo, followed by Finding Dory and later, the blockbuster that is Frozen. I was hissing the hit song Let it Go through clenched teeth by the fourth viewing of the day.
However, often you can discover wonderful films you never would have seen because of your grandchildren’s choices: Toy Story, Monsters Inc, The Iron Giant and Aladdin – and later, Star Wars, and the Indiana Jones and Batman series.
In a world of smartphones and tablets, it’s rare that we watch anything together. But if you want a movie to please you and your grandchildren, you can’t go wrong with the magical film E.T. the Extra-terrestrial. I can guarantee they won’t want to “phone home”.
As a Welsh Baptist with a strict upbringing, I’m still uneasy about smut