We all live in fear of being ‘parent shamed’

Can there be a parent in the country who did not quake with there-but-for-the-grace-of-god terror at the horribly public attack made by “fat activist” Honey Ross on her parents, the broadcaster Jonathan Ross and screenwriter Jane Goldman?

Especially as the nation’s youngsters (and the rest of us) could do with shedding the quarantummies, acquired during our bored, sedentary lockdown.

If we intervene by hiding the Doritos and insisting on the occasional brisk family walk, will we too be pilloried on live television for “imposing a rabid diet culture” on our offspring?

Here are some facts. Honey Ross, 23, was a slim child. She is now a size 18. She is articulate and outspoken, hosting a podcast called The Body Protest and posts “photos of my bare bum cheeks” on Instagram because “simply existing joyfully is an act of protest”. She is “in love” with herself and her body, lucky girl. But for someone so joyful and loved-up she appears mighty cross with her parents.

Their crimes include getting her a personal trainer when she asked for one, banning – or, as she puts it, “demonising” – the paninis she would secretly buy every day on her way to school, and her mother suggesting they both go to Weight Watchers when she was aged 12 and already a size 14.

Was that so wrong? Maybe. Maybe not. For me, the telling line is this: “When they saw their funny, confident daughter retreating and transforming into a quiet and miserable girl, struggling to come to terms with her changing shape, they used the only tools that society had given them to try to help: diet and exercise.”

Note the term “struggling” there. Their daughter was clearly in pain. How on earth were they to know their unhappy, overweight tweenager was going to grow up to be an awesome body-positive fat activist?

Mothers like me don’t need Philip “They f--- you up” Larkin to tell us we’re making a well-meaning hash of bringing up our children. We fret and reproach ourselves enough as it is.

And we definitely don’t deserve to be parent-shamed. But I suppose it was ever thus; damned if we do, damned if we don’t.